I forgot to title my former thread on this subject.

I noted that no one connected this apparent female keyboard paraysis to the emergence of the Feminist movement...Surely girls, if women have now achieved their rightful place in the world, then praisin` the fellers should come easy?

Why is this not so? After all we all have bodies and faces?

We can be hurt,you know ladies!

Oh dear Harry - what a shame we can't continue this on the old thread, rather than start a new one. I've tried to go back into the other one but it won't let you, without having a title to click on - nor can I access it through comments.

Greg, can you help? We just need someone to edit the old discussion by adding the title.

For what's it's worth Harry - I enjoyed the thread - and it inspired me to start writing a poem about a brief encounter I had with one of your sex on a tube, late one night, back in my youth - a bit of a James Blunt gone wrong kind of experience...

If I ever finish it, I'll post it for your perusal - it might explain why women don't write praise poetry for men :)

For some reason I'm reminded of this song - it proves a point - men don't have to be beautiful - they don't even have to have two arms and two legs - they just need to be normal :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uny1K5jnkYo

Not sure I can help with the old thread, Isobel, but just to add that I too was moved to write a poem after mentioning the film Brief Encounter. My poem's just about the film, and Carnforth station, though!

I do hope this link works - Dustin Hoffman tells it like it is.

http://www.upworthy.com/dustin-hoffman-breaks-down-crying-explaining-something-that-every-woman-sadly-already-experienced-3


And Greg - you never cease to surprise me :))

OMG - brought tears to my eyes. He gets it... he understands.

Yes - I found it moving too. I liked the way he tried to smile through the emotions at the end.

I'm not sure I'd agree with him that it's a question of brainwashing though. I think it's something that's probably happened throughout history - it's possibly the animal in our species, that seeks out the most physically attractive to mate with. It seems more instinctual to me - but who knows?

I'm not really seeking to have a go at men - I'm just offering up a reason for why women might not write the same type of poetry :)

Girls,
This is getting deep, I looked at Hoffman, and I too don`t
think it`s brainwashing (to attract men). I think most married
men are well aware that most wives don`t beautify themselves
just to suit them. It`s more (in a non-nasty way) `selfish`, they
worry more about us satorially `suiting` themselves.

And yet Hoffman`s tears seem to touch a female truth, but I`d
be afraid to follow it up (for fear of the `Sisterhood`).

Leaving aside the cosmetic element, why is it that the women
hardly ever praise the `manly` or the modernly `chivalric` traits
in maleness…They may be fading but they`re still there…and
surely you should be encouraging us?

First off – no fear of the sisterhood ! We would appreciate AND praise your honesty… ☺

Second – I think there is some brainwashing going on from a very young age as to what society and the media ‘think’ are the standards for what is considered attractive ! We all have our ideals (and hmmm… where did they come from ?!), which often, as Dustin Hoffman said, get in the way of forming relationships with some potentially really interesting people, who by virtue of knowing them, become beautiful and attractive in our eyes.

We are talking about two different things here…

You want to know why women don’t write poetry praising men for things other than love, and we (two of us) gave you some insight as to why we don’t in your initial thread, which I also wish you hadn’t tampered with for the sake of a title… we knew what you were asking !

I praise men all the time. I just don’t write poetry about it. A lot of times when I do praise men for something – they don’t know what to say (other than an awkward, sometimes nervous ‘Thank You’). Sometimes it stops me from continuing because they just can’t handle it. I don’t feel compelled to write poetry praising men, as I mentioned before, because I don’t think that anyone is worthy to that extent, plus, I personally believe it is more of a masculine romantic initiative to write poetry for a woman than the other way around.

I'll just condense what I said on the vanished thread for completeness.

Women don't write praise poetry for men because (by and large) we don't fantasise about meeting a perfect man - we know they don't exist - just as perfect women don't exist.

Men seem to fantasise about meeting the perfect woman and base that fantasy on the physical. I think that's a primal animal kind of instinct - the search for a healthy mate...

And yes Francine, I'd agree that it's all part of the unspoken male/female etiquette. They are the hunters, we are the hunted - therefore they must do the praising :)

Harry - I love a man who knows how to be a gentleman, as much as I love a man who knows how to be a man ; You are a wonderful part of our species and are an endless supply of amusement. I won't ever put that into a poem though :)

Now you are making me late for work...

This one seems to have died the death.

I see the Hoffman u tube thing has suddenly become very talked about.

The power of the percieved female physical and facial ideal is just there. What is puzzling me is the seeming concurrence of the women in the whole set up. It doesn`t seem a very modernly `Sisterhood` thing.

Maybe It should be about woman-hood praising man-hood...(or maybe not)

And Gregg,That Carnforth station is a right beauty (But those eyes on Celia Johnson!)

I think poetry praising people is really a pre-modern thing. You don't see any of that in Larkin, say. The modern world is too cynical for praise.

However, one curious thing I have noticed is that women often slip into a 'male' persona if called on to write romantic praise poetry. The only exception was Carrie White, and look what happened to her.

Harry, this is a very interesting thread. For the record, I do think a 'man who thinks he's a "man" ' can also be a gentleman.

I really enjoy men, all men. My best friends are men. I once asked my husband why he thought I related well with men in general, and he said, 'You are non-threatening.' That comment sure made me think. I realized how insightful it was: I don't have built-in expectations as to what a 'man' should be. Perhaps it is because I don't want that rigid expectation to be applied to me, and fair's fair. I'm not sure I'm on topic. I never even considered making a point of praising men. Or women. What an interesting topic.

All fair comment Cynthia. I like to think I'm non threatening too - face to face particularly.

So why do YOU suppose that men write more praise poetry than women? Does it just boil down to the fact that they are more gallant?

One of the definitions of 'gallant' is 'being attentive to the needs of women', so, whilst not impossible, it's most likely that, whilst doing this, you are more likely to be a bloke!

Ok smarty pants - I obviously meant the other definitions ;

a. Courteously attentive especially (BUT NOT NECESSARILY) to women; chivalrous.

b. Flirtatious; amorous

I find this topic interesting. Don't think I have ever written the kind of poem you are talking about either.
This has been on these pages before. Its the nearest I get.
My Dragon Husband

My dragon husband
Lives on tobacco,
Consumes all the matches
And breathes smoke on me all night in bed.

My dragon husband
Has fire in his belly,
And roars at the radio.
Flames of his anger devour the television commentary.

My dragon husband
Prowls over his land,
Muttering to his thirsty tomatoes,
Turning over the wealthy soil;
Pulling out pearls of potatoes,
Blood red beetroot,
And hot carrot gold.

My dragon husband
Curls up under the mountain of his duvet,
Hoarding the hot water bottle.
Heavy with the long night’s pondering
He sleeps the day down;
And, as the sun sets,
Like a flash of scales and taloned wings,
He goes, bright and jaunty,
Weilding a long cue,
Into the dragon dance of his misspent youth
In smoky snooker halls

On some fresh morning
As the mist lifts off a winding lane of water,
Between humps of hawthorn and tumbled brambles,
You may see: a wing tipped curve of brolly;
Green gumboot feet;
Breath like smoke;
And a flask, beside a dish of worms.

It is my dragon husband
Crouched over his line,
Hunting the swift, cold demons of the water world;
His deep set eyes
Lost in a wordless dream of dragon land.

Peter's response was "what misspent youth?"

Freda, I don't recall this from before, but that would be my loss. It is splendid. Please post it on the blog again for others to enjoy.

That is a lovely poem Freda. I think there must be a lot of love in that marriage, besides all the dragon smoke - you paint such a vivid picture - not of perfection, but of life.

This is a praise poem worth reading :)

Totally agree with Cynthia and Izz. Great poem. Vivid but giving the imagination plenty to go on, to add more.

Thank you for that. It is one of my favourites. Come on Cynthia and Isobel. What are your men like? A lot of men write about their mothers too. Don't think I have written about my father, well not in poetry form anyway. As for sons...
They used to say that the best way for women to get into an anthology was to write about men.

Cynthia's hubby is lovely - I've met him once - I think we should demand a praise poem off her!

You're barking up the wrong tree with me though - I've never managed to meet Mr Right - I don't give up hope though ;)

My son has inspired a lot of my poetry - I'm often surprised by just how much. Maybe it's because he's the eldest and I've had to go through all those painful life transitions with him - the whole leaving home thing.

My dad hasn't inspired any so far - but if he did, it would be comedy - he was a bit of a character.

My mum has always been and will always be the inspiration in my life - the most worthy woman of praise.

What struck me about your poem Freda, is that it was written about a life partner - not some bit of fluff.

Just to stir the pot up a bit more - I wonder how many poems there are out there, written by men for their wives or long term partners? ;)

John Coopey has plenty to say about 'our Gert'. Dave Carr mentioned his wife as putting a stop to his romantic feelings for an M&S mannequin. No one else on WOL comes readily to mind. Interesting that us chaps tend to go for humour in mentioning our wives.

And there's another thought - I wonder how many women have written poetry about mannequins - and having romantic feelings towards them....

I can recall several written by men - they've all been a scream as well - I do like a larrrf!

Freda,
Now that`s what I reckon a praise poem for a man should be like - praisin` all the right and worth-while things.

Men write praise poetry for the same reason they sing praise songs - to impress women (or whatever type of person they find attractive). It is rather like birds of paradise displaying their plumage. Women don't really have the same biological incentives for such overtures - their reproductive success is pretty much assured, anyway.

Well I want to let it be known that I'm writing to impress men! And I'm not expecting any reproductive success anytime soon.

I go along with JFK. If I want to impress a lady, bugger the poetry. Like baboons, I show her how pink my bottom is.
(Jonnie F - please don't look!)

Well I've written mine - it's all about peacocks funnily enough - but it doesn't have any red back bottoms in it :)

Thanks for the inspiration Harry - I don't write much nowadays! xxx

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