Will Ford

Biography

Without taking himself too seriously, Will is very serious about satirising modern and timeless truths about us as people. He can deliver sets of spoken word to order, tailoring them to suit the occasion. The occasion may, for example, be a comedy night or a deadly serious and sober examination of the nature of heroism and what was considered cowardice during the First World War. My Blog: http://willdeanford.wordpress.com/ Will has performed in fields, in tents, in cafes, pubs and clubs and shopping centres, theatre foyers, in the street. Whether as part of a Festival event, Cardiff's Underground scene, at National Theatre Wales associated events, charity nights or local poetry showcases (as perfomer and/or host/MC), Will Ford has an eagerness to surprise and experiment. At The Dylan Thomas Festival in Laugharne 2014 he delighted/massively offended the audience at the Back of The Pub Poetry Club (DT Special) with his irreverent approach to Wales' favourite poet/favourite alcoholic who had touched many wives/lives (delete as appropriate) ;-) He is a firm believer in the idea that a writer should not become known for one thing, one issue or one style if a writer is to retain any capacity at all to take an audience by surprise. His forays into short story writing feature, among other oddities, the power struggle between sex mad alpha male ducks, addiction portrayed as a Helldog begging to be fed, the domestic problems of zombie parents with kids who seem to be growing up good and the wry internal musings of an unfortunate narrator who has been hogtied to a pole by cannibals. He wonders. And he wants others to wonder too. He also makes low (ie no) budget vids as one third of DOJO.

Samples

Final two verses from The Coward (a first person story poem featuring a First World War deserter writing during the last night of of his life before his execution the next morning, trying to tell his tale, while the candle he writes by burns down. I wrote this poem 'in character' over the course of one night, using the approaching of the appointed hour of my character's execution to motivate the growing sense of desolation and bitterness as the time he has left to live runs out.... Now there'll never be enough time For me to say all that I need to say Only when the trigger is pulled Will this bitterness and bile drain away I didn't die for my country So they'll kill me anyway And finally I realise that there is no God So why should I kneel down to pray? I hope executions run more precisely Than the battles that make up this war Or they'll shoot me and miss me They'll have to reload Then they'll shoot me and miss me once more Then they'll shoot me and hit me But miss what they aim at For my heart is not here anymore. 73.831776% Bullshit Self promotion makes me queasy Leaves me feeling silly I try it but the words come out Apologetically Some say fake it till you make it Is the way to play the game With that in mind This rhyme will now Make some outlandish claims... (Intro delivered 'wearily', now switch to rap parody delivery) I'm the meanest mother who ever drew breath And if you mess with me it can only result in your death I got an Uzi, got a Glock, I got an AK too You'll be knock-knocking up on Heaven's Door Before I'm through I got a crime empire and a personal jet My super sexy blah-blah-blah can make water wet I'm more imperious than any emperor of Rome And I got more bitches than Battersea Dogs Home I go more riches than the sultan of Brunei If you offend me I can fire lasers from my eyes Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 'Cause I got soul, when I sit on the toilet Pure gold drops in the bowl I am truly scrumptious, I am good enough to eat I bottle my bathwater and I sell it on the street Any known disease can be cured by my saliva And I never purchase toilet tissue I prefer a fiver I am the best at everything,including being nice Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed and God come to me for advice My influence is universally intergalactic And I'm so virile that I need full body prophylactics I deliver a sudden shock, I am the human tazer I am even sharper than Oscar Wilde's Razor I'm the real deal, no late reveal, no fake Wizard of Oz I am the king of everything that is, will be and was... (Revert to spoken delivery) Self promotion makes me queasy, leaves me feeling silly I try it but the words come out apologetically The title and the final line are very accurate This verse really does contain 73.831776% Bullshit

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.

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