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Drinking Alcohol

Alcohol I used to drink as early as in the morning,
But to myself or for others let this be a warning.
Although for a little while it made feel elated,
After this had worn off depression was created.

Where there was once great joy, after there was gloom.
It turned me from a happy place into an empty room.
It gave me such confidence for which I gave it thanks,
But then it turned from that feeling into one of angst.

It made me feel so amazing I felt the world was mine.
Then I came quickly down, while before I had been fine.
How much I drank is something of which now I do forget.
All I know it is something which I came to regret.

But if you drink responsibly then it can be delightful,
And may give you happiness without becoming frightful.
So drink at the right occasions and you may be contented,
Your mind shall be at peace rather than tormented.

🌷(8)

Stuart VannerAlcohol

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Comments

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Stephen Atkinson

Thu 10th Dec 2020 20:04

A poem that flows like a fine wine ( drank responsibly of course!)

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keith jeffries

Thu 10th Dec 2020 18:52

Stuart,

I am able to emphasise with the words of this poem. The way you have crafted the poem is clever indeed leaving its message still loud and clear.
Thank you for this,
Keith

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Aviva Rifka Bhandari

Thu 10th Dec 2020 18:10

There's a couple of lines that could be adjusted: for better scan (e.g. 'as early as in the morning' -> as early as the morning) , for better phrasing (eg 'something of which now I do forget' - > something which now I do forget *or* something of which now I forget), for missing words (e.g. 'it made feel elated' -> it made me feel elated) - but despite all of that it is still a great poem with a great message. ?

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