Goodbye, dear friend

 

As adults we adventured in to the sea

 

Clumsy

Intimidated

Determined

And having so much fun

 

No one else was bothered

To learn such a difficult skill

To take the long drive from our town

Just to be in the water for—a day

 

But you did

And so

Our journey together moved forward

 

We started in the shallows

And with time and confidence

We paddled out to the breakers

It was terrifying

But we were in it together

And our bond grew stronger

 

You were my surfing buddy

But more than that

You were my best friend

 

You said yes to everything wild that I suggested

And I loved that about you

 

 You said that—because of me

You did things— that you normally wouldn’t do

You now had my taste— for challenge and adventure

And you loved that too

 

Through and through

You loved me

I loved

That you loved me

But I didn’t love you back

There was an undercurrent of

pain for us both there

 

I was your security

And you were mine

But if we just ignored—that undercurrent

We would surf

And laugh

And be just fine

 

Things could never stay the same with us

You hoped they would

 As did I

But they couldn’t

 

The undercurrent grew stronger

While the ocean stayed— as our special place

Each time we rose to the surface

So did the crushing reality

That we could no longer ignore

 

It’s hard for me not to feel

a little sad

When I’m in ocean now

The cold salty water still

invigorates me

But the waves just aren’t

the same without you

 

My confidence in the water

And in myself

Took a bit of nose dive

It’s not a total surprise

I thought I could do anything

With you by my side

 

 

It’s feels like one of us

swam out to sea

And didn’t come back

The other— left on the shore

Devastated and abandoned

Despite how predictable— this was

 

I’m in the waves now

The water gleams

But I’m alone

No one will appreciate this special haven

As much as you did

You are out there somewhere

But not with me

 

Goodbye, my dear friend.