We’re hoping to see you returning again

To give us your hard-earned bunce

So make sure that you gamble responsibly though

Don’t lose all your outlay at once.

 

The last thing we want for our business

Is a punter that goes to the wall

Depleting our customer numbers

And not good for cash-flow at all.

 

Our public position is “Take Control”

And “Gamble Responsibly” too

But there’s hypocritical shortfall

Between what we say and we do.

 

You’ve seen all our ads on the telly

With Rio and Crouch and Jose

You’ll note that everyone’s winning

So roll up, you muppets, and play.

 

No need to study the form book

Of footie or horses or dogs

Just give us your brass and place your bet

It’s like falling off of a log.

 

No need to schlep down the bookies

Or even to get out of your chair

We really don’t mind where we fleece you

We honestly don’t really care.

 

We’ve Bingo these days for the ladies

A market we’ve recently tapped

We don’t check your credit score rating

Or concern ourselves that you’re cash-strapped.

 

So enter our virtual casino

Drawn in by the lure of free spins

By celebrities like that Mourhino

Who’ve traded for silver their sins.

 

Yes, hypocrisy’s our bread and butter

Let’s start you with minimal stakes

Encouraging your little flutter

We’ll tell you whatever it takes.

 

It’s just harmless fun is our message

But secretly think that you’re mugs

By planting the seeds of addiction

We’re peddling the new Class A drugs.