Jesus! I can't write fast enough to keep up with events on the ground.  She's gone!

 

I gave my solemn oath

To you for Growth, Growth, Growth

I couldn’t then conceive

That it was only make believe.

 

The higher rate of income tax

I pledged that I’d relax

No VAT for tourists to GB

And income tax at 19p

I promised that I’d lose

The duty on your booze

And that I’d also end

The tax on dividends

But it’s only make believe.

 

The 2-year cap I put on energy

A promise that will never be

The plan that I’d relax

The Corporation Tax

Not scrapped but even worse

I’ve jammed it in reverse

No public service cuts

(You must have thought we're nuts!)

But it’s only make believe.

 

I’d need a fall-guy quick and so

Queezie was the first to go

Then consigning to the bin

That Floella Benjamin

So now I put up front

Young Mordaunt and that Hunt

The power lies with them

I pretend to be PM

But it’s only make believe.