The Rocky Horror Picture Show

 

The Rocky Horror Picture show

Where blokes dress up in drag

Audience participation

Not really my bag

 

But I liked the thought of dressing up

So thought I’d give it a go

And no excuses needed, at

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

 

I searched the house…for feminine garb

Like basques, fishnets, suspenders

Or anything to blur the lines

And reunite both genders

 

Mi Granny kept her lingerie

In a box… under her bed

And she doesn’t need em anymore

Seen as how she’s dead

 

You wouldn’t believe the stuff in that box

Mi grandad din’t know he was born

There was masks and whips and handcuffs

And mi grandad’s best stash of old porn

 

I found this funny item

Which baffled me because

When I picked it up…. It started buzzing

…..And I don’t know what that was

 

EURIKA I found ‘em… her dressing up kit

Under her whips and her masks

There were stockings and bras and suspenders

And a sexy selection of basques

 

 

I squeezed missen into mi dead granny’s basque

And taped back mi dangly bits

Then found a pair of oranges

To improvise as tits

 

It’s ironical that I used fruit

To get the right affect

I usually wear a rubber jumpsuit

With a banana down mi kecks

 

I admired missen in the mirror

And practiced mi pelvic thrust

I could time-warp with the best of em

And bounce my citric bust

 

Mi mother looked at me, and said

You’re not going out dressed like that

Tha’ll catch thi bloody death o’ cold

Mek sure you tek an hat

 

I got the next bus into town

In my sexy silk adornment

And proudly walked the High Street

To the front doors the Gaumont

 

Knuckles Hardman was the usher

A grizzly mean old git

Who eyed me… in mi lingerie

With oranges for tits

 

He turned the air quite blue

I’d never heard such swearing

It was effin this and effin that

And what the eff are you wearing

 

I explained how it was normal

As everyone should know

And that’s what folk are wearing for

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

 

He said….It’s not the Rock Horror Picture Show

It’s Rocky… you daft twat

A boxing film… with Sly Stallone

Tha can’t come in ‘ere dressed like that

 

He looked me up and down, and said

Tha looks a proper berk

But I finish mi shift in half an hour

…. Can I meet you after work