Routine is death; Death is routine

by Dave Bradley

Wednesday 23rd March 2011 10:07 pm

Leave home eight fifty five arrive nine twenty six

Leave home eight fifty six arrive nine twenty seven

Leave home eight fifty seven arrive nine twenty eight

Leave home eight fifty eight arrive nine twenty nine

Leave home eight fifty nine arrive nine thirty

Leave home nine o'clock die in head-on smash

Leave home one minute past nine arrive ten thirty two

Delayed by that crash

The police think it'll come to court

and I'll be needed as a witness.

So shocking.

I always leave home at nine.

Always, without fail.

….just that little bit late this morning.

Makes you think.

The policewoman said it's happening all the time

So sad.

Comments

Elaine Booth

Thu 31st Mar 2011 22:17

The first 7 lines are brilliant and you do need some more after this. I think Julian has a point but not that these lines should be cut entirely but maybe they could stand tightening up somewhat.
I am fascinated by this theme of seeming chance, the randomness of the universe. I had this experience myself when someone crashed into me on my way to work. I had taken a slightly diffrerent route, something I had never done before and suddenly, bam!, my car was a right off. X

Julian (Admin)

Sat 26th Mar 2011 20:14

It's the 'Sliding doors theme isn't it Dave? The notion that we have choices at every turn, and each choice has its own implications. Like just missing the plane for some seemed a disaster at the time, until they heard the news later..
I agree with Cynthis about the power of those lines with the times in.
However, for me, the power is diluted by all the following lines except the last. if you took out the lines <Delayed by...> to <...you think>, and leave the last line in, I think it would be even more powerful, and more subtle. Just me perhaps.

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 26th Mar 2011 18:20

I think this is terrific. Very, very clever structure, like cars whizzing past constantly, and then a 'blip' for a crash and a life lost, and a moment of reflection, and then - off again; the feeling for me is: back to the start of the poem.

Philipos

Thu 24th Mar 2011 10:17

Like the way you bring us to the scene and depart again and leave it for us to remember our own similar experiences as motorists - it dwells in the mind though these shocks and we keep going back to the same event in most cases - talking/writing about these experiences certainly helps and as you so rightly put it 'makes you think'

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Routine is death; Death is routine

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