You’ve gone again
but then I always knew you would
blown away by emptiness
the hollow rattle of it all
the words that never said enough
or never said at all
but fed upon themselves instead
now hope has gone the way that all things go
sunny side down
yolk hardened
like the setting sun
and yet for me
you left your mark
Hi Isobel; - I really like this. There's a lot unsaid with this piece, and for me I didn't feel anything to do with love or romantic disappointment... sadness over something but not them.
Like in particular 'Hollow rattle' here but it's a well worked out piece certainly with a perfectly pitched ending. x
Francine is correct - there is no title cos I didn't want a title. Thanks for reading anwyay. x
The title reflects the essence of what she is saying... ; )
<Deleted User> (7212)
Sat 23rd Apr 2011 23:04
don't you think it's worth having a title though ?
I like this too. I can hear your voice reading it somehow.
My initial thoughts were of love lost etc. However on further reading there is a sense of betrayal or possibly inevitability about the loss, unsurprising.
I like the image of words feeding on themselves, and the sunny side down expression. I'm glad you allowed comments because there is a bare-facedness about this short but almost cuttingly direct piece.
I really like this for the fact that it is left up to the reader's interpretation.
You have expressed so well what we can all relate to in some sense.
For me, everything except 'but then I always knew you would'...
Hmmm... Inspiration? Faith?
I originally disabled comments cos I didn't want to explain this one - then realised that it was open to misinterpretation.
Could I just say for the record that it has nothing to do with love or romantic disappointment. x
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Elaine Booth
Mon 9th May 2011 23:17
"and yet for me / you left your mark" - the loss you are communictaing is a very deep one. Hope it isn't a question of faith. But it feels like the loss of something very close. X