Andromeda
Andromeda When they chained you to your post, did you think of duty then, stripped of your dignity like spring lambs sheared of their wool for the first time. No. You did not. You fought with all the weapons of a woman; you loosed your tongue and cried your tears but still they betrayed you. They tied your hands with callous chains and pressed their shallow guilt againt your naked breast. And, when they had left you to the sea, you turned your defiance on him, but your anger cooled like a sword freshly cast and plunged into the bucket. You lowered your gaze and turned your eyes to duty then; when it was all you had.
From a few months ago, one that I wrote for a uni assignment. It had to be inspired by a painting of a myth or legend. My tutor's comment was 'Effective but lacking in structure'. So I wrote him some fancy poetry for the next one because he's clearly a terza rima and villanelle sort of guy. I wanted to share this one with you though, maybe you'll appreciate it more, or maybe not.
Ray Miller
Mon 13th Jun 2011 23:12
I like the sword plunged into the bucket lines.On the whole, though, I thought it could be sharper. For instance
Chained you to your post,
did you think of duty,
stripped of your dignity
like a spring lamb sheared of wool?