Note: No profile exists for this entry - most likely it was deleted.
A five fingered kiss
over the table top blurs.
Earlier I heard
a woman cry
Cats press,
mew half-light calls.
She broke a promise
to be strong
Nev the Rev
pushes the pedal down low.
I've seen her walking
dressed for bed
A morse code tap,
short sighted view.
I hear she sobs
to the noon day sun
Light up the first
of a brand new day,
breathe in her hurt
my morning.
Enjoyed this despite, or because of, its disconnectedness
I've seen her walking
dressed for bed
That's such a simple phrase yet here it's very powerful.
excellent stuff, Stella.. really enjoyed this in particular the end x
The two voices seem to me to be a woman looking at herself from the outside (as others see her) and then expressing how she feels (from the inside.) Not sure about Nev the Rev - made me think of Midsummer Murders for some reason! But I like the poem.
<Deleted User> (6895)
Fri 9th Sep 2011 20:03
lots of images to play with
in this excellent poem.
thanks for sharing
Stef&Patricia.xx
I thought of a modern day Joan of Arc, punishing her lungs with cigarettes, a martyr to some lost cause.
It isn't an easy poem to follow - there seem to be two voices - or at least disconnected thought. I enjoyed it though Stella - it is an interesting read and those last 4 lines carry a powerful punch.
Philipos
Fri 9th Sep 2011 14:45
Wow, leaves the reader wanting to know more - suggests a triangle of sorts. You have a typo in line 14 (view). I liked the mystery suggested in this.
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Elaine Booth
Sun 18th Sep 2011 18:51
Stella, wonderfully powerful poem. The opening lines really drew me in. I very much liked the two voices as it set up a tension and a story. And the mystery of the story - there is plenty there for the reader I feel. X