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In Hope of Wonder

Cold blue
giant in his stillness
scares me

Oh......it seems

I stand alone

on
the
edge

dark leaches
[foul]
steals all brightness
from the spectrum

I see {glimpses}
of normal colour
that flicker, in the
corner of my vision

the sea mocks
constantly
in his
consistancy

s t r e t c h i n g

[like a sunset]

it's his joke,
he laughs
at sandcastles washed flat

clever how you
sneak
my breath away

dead
silence
hovers
as I look to your eyes
for some relief

theres a vastness
slowly rising

.......[did you know]

in moonbeams, eyes
flash indigo

theres something
I need to reach
before time dies

I hear it moving
within the stillness
November brings

blue is a leftover
a hungry blankness
a sucking of light

[wondering]

whatever happened
to that girl who shone

the one
who once saw
with innocent eyes?

◄ Christmas Comes Early

Indian Kings ►

Comments

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Martin Peacock

Mon 28th Nov 2011 13:37

Steven Fry talks bollocks - free verse makes great poetry and here's the example I'd make him eat.

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Elaine Booth

Thu 17th Nov 2011 00:13

Oh, Stella, I could hear you as I read this, that lush voice of yours. The imagery here, though quite cold and wintry is nonetheless lush - lots for the mind's eye to conjure. I enjoyed this very much. XX

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Andy N

Wed 16th Nov 2011 11:17

i know some who would object to this, Stella but i particularly like the use of the short lines..

top stuff, my dear xx

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Lynn Dye

Mon 14th Nov 2011 22:32

Wow! I really enjoyed this poem, Stella. To me at least, it is all good. :)

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Dave Bradley

Mon 14th Nov 2011 11:00

I agree with Harry, Stella. Second half great. First half creates a mood, but what to project on to it????

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Dali

Sun 13th Nov 2011 20:17

Great, one of my favourite themes/motives too. This one flows smoothly yet cuts deep. Thanks for reading my Balloons in the tree too
Dali

Philipos

Sun 13th Nov 2011 15:36

Charming poem this and quite sophisticated, I especially enjoyed 'there's a vastness slowly rising .......[did you know] in moonbeams, eyesflash indigo' and the intro 'cold blue giant' as I haven't heard the sea expressed in that way before.

Enjoyed the almost casual conversational tone as your ideas unfolded. All of it enjoyable and the last 5 lines of personal reflection which is of someone looking back on life as we all do at times and asking the 'what-if' questions.

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Harry O'Neill

Sun 13th Nov 2011 13:18

Stella,
I looked first at the last five lines of this -read the body of it - then looked at the title. Coming to the conclusion that it was `about` a loss of the sense of wonder.

As an old codger I look for `clues`:

The lines
`There`s something
I need to reach
before time dies`
and
`I hear it moving
within the stillness
November brings`

are admirable and-more importantly - evocative of (what I take) to be the `aboutness` of the poem.

Also
`dead
silence
hovers`
And
`theres a vastness
slowly rising`

are also immensly evocative of a silent sea rising and therefore fit the poem well.

I don`t `get` some of the earlier references.

I realise that we all have our own arcane system of images, but I feel you have a very good poem in the second half of this.

I hope I haven`t gone on too long.


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