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OVER BY CHRISTMAS?

They told us it would be over by Christmas

          But it was a sepia, suicidal scene

                    In July 1916

 

When

 

The grass was green

          The mud was brown

                    On rolling hills

                              Where trees were falling

                                        On top of limbs already broken

 

The earth was scorched 

          With charcoal birds

                     Covered in mustard clouds

                               Sprayed with metal rain

                                        In choking cordite

                                                  And the bitter taste of hindsight

 

The air turned blue 

          As the bullets flew

                    In a blood red trench

                              With the loss of brothers

                                                  As the wind cried mother

 

 And the world rolled over

          Buried its head till `39

                    Then started another

                                    And the wind still cried mother

                                                 Longer and louder

                                                               This time in colour

 

 

 

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Comments

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Martin Peacock

Mon 27th Feb 2012 14:14

A good poem on the trenches, Mike. I have a fascination with the Great War which compels me too to write poems about 1914-18. Just by the by, for my money the 20th century was the shortest [and, after the 14th., the worst] on record, only starting in 1914 [after the Victorian/Edwardian Great Binge] and ending in 1991, when the wars in the Balkans kicked off and the rest of the world decided 'enough is enough; we're just going to sit it out now and wait for the future i.e. the millennium to roll up, with its silver jump suits, pills for food and a personal jetpack for everyone.'

<Deleted User> (10059)

Thu 23rd Feb 2012 13:25

Powerful imagery, bro! Dad will be nodding his approval!

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Laura Taylor

Tue 21st Feb 2012 14:33

Ahhh - got ya Mike, re the images captured and and replayed. PTSD for you, eh? Ignore what I said then, because you played it spot bloody on, chap.

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Mon 20th Feb 2012 12:37

Thoughtful lines Mike - unfortunately war is still used all too frequently - and these days it seems far more civilians suffer in proportion to those fighting. How sad that politicians are not bound to take the front line if they declare war...

Best wishes, Dave

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Mike Hilton

Mon 20th Feb 2012 11:15

Thanks Guys( Cynthia,Isobel,Patricia & Stefan, Laura) for your comments and ideas. Much appreciated.

The idea came out of speaking to people who had been involved in the war. They tended to remember things in short, sharp triggers like smell, colours and sounds etc.
I then saw a documentary film of WW1 which started in sepia then gradually changed to an early colour prodution.
It was a bit spooky as it was just like what the people had said in short, sharp shots etc on the film.
Hence, that may have come out in the way I laid it down on paper.

Thanks Guys

Mike

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 19th Feb 2012 17:40

I think this subject is a good one, Mike. Whether 'sepia' is the colour of 'time distance' or the shades of old film clips, its use is very evocative. The third stanza is especially strong. Your idealogical point is well-made and the repetition ties the whole theme together. I have a suggestion only: Since you are building on 'sepia', how many words for shades of brown, gray, greenish and yellowish could you come up with, to keep the target idea of 'sepia' absolutely focussed, and then be so sharply contrasted with modern full colour exposure of WW11. Especially since the real point is what does not change - the winnowing of loss.

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Isobel

Sat 18th Feb 2012 10:36

I liked the way you have played with structure.

I also love the way colour plays such a big part in the poem - the play on words with blue air, the idea that even though films went from black to white, nothing changed on the battle fields - life as a film, on repeat....

I also like the 'And the wind cried mother' line. It conjures up the last words of many of those young soldiers, I imagine. Us mothers are blessed to be so loved - how could you live with that knowledge though?

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sat 18th Feb 2012 09:48

For us
the whole poem is a stunner Mike.

Good on yer Guv'nor!

Patricia and Stefan

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Laura Taylor

Fri 17th Feb 2012 13:03

I like the structure and the story Mike. Can't help feeling that maybe you could have tarted up the lines in it, from 'was' to more...well...tarted up!! Feel free to completely ignore me btw :)

I love 'sepia suicidal scene', and that last verse is great.

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