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Prose Upon The River

 

River Estate Retrospective

 

perfect pattern paving built for hopscotch

roads wide as the dirty River Mersey     

side to street a hundred feet

plenty space for kerby

plenty more for ollies green smashed to glass

and smithereens by Kevin Roberts dobber

in the gutter

 

twenty pair maternal eyes gazing from the glazing

behind the nets nothing goes unnoticed

every single misdemeanour noted and transmitted

supersonic bulletins of social misbehaviour

dispatches travel faster than the speed of sound or light

penance follows quicker than a wink

 

dirtyscary spiderwebbed salvationary bog

lacked electric light and inner lock

on the outside by the alleyway

saviour of the careless child

rescued us from shaming yellow knickers

piddled all the quicker on the cold and snowy days

 

secondhanded vehicles the weekend entertainment

forehead scratchers crowd around the one remaining Haynes

consulting oily oracle, extrapolating data

communicating contradicting estimating engine parts

sorting out solutions on the cheap, collectively

see the scrappy bargainswap a favour for the spares

 

as winter sunshine sinks beneath the farmerfield rise

teatime dishes clatter onto tables laying down

butter placed before the fire for half an hour ‘s heat

plates are warmed and so it seems that every single family

is eating Irish stew tonight

going by the smell upon the River  

 

River Estate Epilogue

The kids don’t play at hopscotch anymore

They don’t know where the River Mersey is

The spaces played for marbles are now taken up with parking

and you cannot see the kerbstones for the cars

Kevin’s doing seven years for dealing

I scored myself a first class Lit degree

Last year I moved out of council housing

Sick of cold and mouldy living rooms

Sick of clothes not drying on the horse

Sick of perma-wheezing and badly managed schemes

Conditions made us sick before our time

 

Housewives work at Tesco now, they never see the crimes

Reportage died when husbands lost their jobs

Their secretary skills became important, finally,

in the service sector following the 80s

Dinner ladies arse wipers floor moppers, all 

They barely made it through the last recession

 

Kids don’t need an outside bog - they never leave the house

Paedobear and leccy games now occupy their time

instead of kerby, kick the can, chalky hopscotch, water fights

Pampered little fauntleroys?

At least they’re warm and dry and safe inside

But can we say their innocence remains?

When they hear the Call of Duty and respond with present arms?

 

More traffic on the road than we ever thought could fit

Credit makes that new Passat affordable

Oily oracle consulted still but each car has a copy

Matched to fit the vehicle and bought for sale online 

Scrappy’s still in business but you can’t look for your own

It’s a service garage MOT place now

No bargainswaps for sale just a final fix-up fee

 

The rise is now obscured by lego housing laid down quick

Additions to the landscape expanded our estate

No one eats at teatime now or sits around a table

It’s olive spread upon the bread eaten for the benefit

Irish stew has been replaced by microwaving chemicals

The smell upon the River stinks tonight

 

 

◄ Ode to a Dictionary

Shopping List Edit - Part 2 ►

Comments

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Barbi Touron

Wed 7th Mar 2012 20:07

Thank you, for real, we are is some serious trouble, our environment is as ill as society. The tap water in NY can be set on fire due to natural gas leaking in to the water pipes. We need to bring back hopscotch and kick the can. I love these things but there is no going back. Now we just have to figure out how to clean the river and take the fire out of the water. Best wishes

Philipos

Tue 21st Feb 2012 22:02

Gosh, this brought back thoughts of when I was a Mersider child growing up in what seemed a sepia world. Revisited a couple of years ago with my son and daughter. The old terrace was still there in Dominion Street but the back entries blocked off and there seemed to be a group of teenies wearing the same corporate ID black T shirts. I was surprised though at the litter-free streets. We played outside the houses then although I don't think any of us had aspired to owning marbles but I could be wrong. Thanks for the lovely memories Laura.

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Laura Taylor

Tue 21st Feb 2012 15:24

Cheers Yvonne and Ray

Yeh, know what you mean Yvonne - tried to hold it back but it weren't having any ;)

Ray - the conditions line stays because it DID make us sick. I only stopped wheezing when I moved into private rented accommodation with proper heating and insulation, and no dreaded black mould.

Have altered the 2nd verse of the 2nd part - whaddaya reckon?

Paedobear - internet meme, with reference to social anxiety about paedophiles/letting kids play out.

Fauntleroys - hmm...was nearly princesses, but I didn't want to sex them. That sounds wrong! Why don't you like it? Gonna leave the other 3 lines too I think.

Didn't even notice the extra 'own' goddammit. Will think of a replacement, cheers.

Changed brick of (even though I knew the pause was different I accept what you say) to lego - better? Worse?

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Ray Miller

Tue 21st Feb 2012 15:02

In short, I thought the first poem was excellent, the 2nd one much less so. Some thoughts/suggestions.

You'd be better off without "collectively", I think.

Last year I moved out of council housing

Maybe Conditions made us old before our time

The rhythm goes askew in 2nd verse of 2nd part, from the secretary skills line.

Paedobear? Whassat?

Again, I don't like Pampered little Fauntleroys and the 3 lines that follow. Off rhythm and strike the wrong note.

Repetition of "own" in 4th verse is lazy!

"brick of housing"? Who on earth would say that?

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Yvonne Brunton

Tue 21st Feb 2012 14:37

loved your poem/s.
Great alliteration ( just a bit OTT perhaps but still loved it). very evocatve,I remember playing marbles - and the outside privvy too. Nostalgia tempered by the rough side of life
Yvonne x x x

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