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As It Is

Monday 23rd April 2012 9:10 pm

Each morning of existence

two armies stand assembled

for an outcome that’s decided

before the horns are blown.

A battle fought on sacred ground

favours those with virtue,

like when the sheriff has the sunlight

behind him in a showdown.

The names of these warriors

are as lengthy as a sentence;

unfamiliar constructions

await the axe and tumble.

I wonder if their quarrel

could be settled round a table

or must lessons be as pointed

as javelins impaling?

Does nothing shock or shatter

your transcendental shell?

The gods wag their fingers

yet the sky stands still.

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Comments

Phillip Kelly

Wed 9th May 2012 20:56

i loved this poem, excellent usage of enjambement, especially in stanza one which creates a nice flow to the poem. i love the metaphors and simlies and contrasts that compare modern day battles of life, to historical and fictional batteles.........

A battle fought on sacred ground

favours those with virtue,

like when the sheriff has the sunlight

behind him in a showdown

this stanza i found especially effective.....the idea of sheriff having sun on his back reminded me of the movie.....THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES........and the idea that warriors had sun on their back to gain an edge and advantage in battle........and in this poem....i got the sense the battle is life itself and lifes problems.......but the writer is battling wiv themselves, their own conscience and faults........or the collective faults of the entire human race..........i got this sense from the final stanza which switches to 2nd person diret address and interrogatives, after the opening 3rd person perspective and first person thoughts of writer

Ray Miller

Wed 25th Apr 2012 15:04

Thanks all.

Neil. Yeah, I know what you mean about revealing too much. And it's interesting for the writer also to see what others make of it.

Isobel.It's not so much about differing religious beliefs, but belief itself, the notion of predestination and how history is written by the victors.

Steve. It was written about 2 years ago.I do revise my stuff, methodically and in alphabetical order. It is a bit dry, yeah, I was originally aping the style of the religious text, so it's as it is meant to be.I don't like "like when" the sheriff - that bit is ugly. I'm sure I had summat better at one time!Javelins impaling I quite like. Rough and tumble - it's more violent than that, though.

M.C. I thought the opening lines would place the poem in a religious, eternal context. I maybe need a more explicit title.

M.C. Newberry

Wed 25th Apr 2012 13:29

Intriguing, but everything needs a "centre" and I'm not sure what to latch on to for interpreting the meaning behind the imagery.
Two armies? This could lead anywhere in trying
to locate the lever that opens the gates of
comprehension for yours truly. But perhaps the author intends the challenge as the raison
d'etre of the poem?

Isobel

Tue 24th Apr 2012 22:05

Can't help you with the axe and tumble line until I have a clearer understanding for what it's about. I liked the axe and tumble cos it fits in with the idea of medieval fighting. I don't understand what the unfamiliar constructins are though, so that is the bit that I would change.

And now I've read everyone's comments I realise that I was probably totally adrift with my earlier interpretation. Is the battle about two different religious beliefs?

You don't have to answer that one - it might break your rules :)

Isobel

Tue 24th Apr 2012 21:58

I'm writing my comment without reading all that went before, cos that's the way I prefer it.

To me the poem is about the battle of life - the cards all being loaded from the offset.

It's not easy to understand but I like it very much. I like the medieval imagery - the savagery of it all

The gods wag their fingers
yet the sky stands still.

Regardless of what is right or wrong, we can't change our essential selves. It could mean anything of course - but that will do for me :)

Tom Harding

Tue 24th Apr 2012 20:19

I enjoyed this & agree with Neil, the two lines are excellent.

Neil Fawcett

Tue 24th Apr 2012 13:15

I would have prefer not to know the context, because much of the fun is in the interpretation. For me this was about the battle with the different sides of the same self, the continual duel between the dark voice and the conformist. For what it's worth I think I'd move away from the questions.
Stanza 3 is a bit too explanatory for me. Maybe start it with;

Warrior names of sentence length.

Love the last two lines.

Ray Miller

Tue 24th Apr 2012 12:58

Thanks, Alison, Andrew and Steve - yes, I did write it! Is it that bad? One of my daughters was going out with a Hare Krishna so in anticipation of a discussion that never actually materialised, I read a bit of The Bhagavad Gita, also called As It Is.
I don't care much for this bit

unfamiliar constructions

await the axe and tumble

so if anyone has suggestions?

I see what you mean about that 3rd verse, Andrew, maybe it needs be in a poem on that subject instead!

Andrew Brown

Tue 24th Apr 2012 12:34

Your third verse seems to suggest this might be the battle that ensues as we try to write words down on a page.

alisonsmiles68@gmail.com

Tue 24th Apr 2012 10:10

I enjoyed this. Leaves you with a question as to what the battle is about, and it more than floats the suggestion that slogging it out is pointless. Particularly liked the last verse.

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