Us Nolimpics

 

We wuz  avin a  Nolimpics

Me bruvver Burt an’ me

Cos mum ad gorra strop on

An we cudden wotch no TV.

Well ah didden mean no arm

She didden need ter get so shirty

Ah only put our Rex in t’washer

Cos ee got hissen so dirty.

 

An, anyow, Burt didn’t mean ter

Break the green’ouse glass

But ees not reet good at football

An ee missed me left foot pass.

So dad ad took us football

An sent us up ter bed

An we didden av no supper

Cept some watter an dry bread.

 

We wuz gunna race us beetles,

Av swimming races wiv us rats,

Get Rex’s fleas fer t’long jump

An do discus wiv dad’s ‘at.

 

But Burt ad gorra poster

Wi’ a Nolimpic torch an flames

An we thowt that we cud mek one

Fer uz own  Nolimpic games.

 

So we rolled an old newspaper

Round mum’s stripy, yellow socks

An lit it wi dad’s lighter

But it got too bloomin ‘ot!

Our Burt cudden old it

Ee dropped it on is chair

An t’flames lept up an burned is ands

An then they singed me ’air.

 

We legged it down ter kitchen

An mum got proper mad

She yelled “get reet back upstairs now

Or I’ll av ter fetch thi dad”

 

We wuz avin a Nolimpics

Me an me bruvver Burt

We didden mean ter burn the ‘ous.

Or mum an dad get hurt.

 

Yvonne Brunton 13/ 07/ 2012