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SONNET 18

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(...so I says to Shakespeare, "If you can use it, use it.")

(and with a deep debt to C T Grey and his pictured book)

 

Shall I compare thee to a summerhouse?

Thou art more sturdy and more waterproof;

A summerhouse is for a great girl’s blouse;

Conservatories?  Thou thinkest me a poof!

Sometime too hot doth blaze Apollo’s eye

But when ‘tis cold, ‘tis bloody cold, by Jove!

Ye shed-man, though, will ne’er stick fast, for by

Paraffin heater or pot-belly stove

He spurneth risk of carbon monoxide;

And eke he may his wife-man’s nagging halt

Concealing himself covertly inside

His faith placed on ye door’s interior bolt;

Forsooth he may splash out on as he’s read

His dirty books inside yon garden shed.

◄ Going Home Time

"PICK IT UP" ►

Comments

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Ray Miller

Thu 7th Feb 2013 22:03

You might try "ere and after" in some form, like
splashing out on ere and after he's read

I don't say it's any better but the best I can do.

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John Coopey

Thu 7th Feb 2013 21:51

Frederick/Yvonne,
Where ya gone?
You've got no Profile pages anymore.
The site just takes me to the All-Comers Profile page and when I put your names in, there you are - gone!
Hope the Thought Police haven't got you.

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John Coopey

Thu 7th Feb 2013 19:39

As I mention up top, I am indebted to the CT Grey's "Fifty Sheds of Grey" with its marvellous one-liners such as "From that first encounter I was hooked - I just couldn't get enough of sheds and mowers (or S&M for short)"
and
"'I do have one fetish', I confessed, 'MILFS - Mowers I'd Like to Fix'".

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Anthony Emmerson

Wed 6th Feb 2013 12:37

You are in fine fettle of late Mr Coopey. I'm enjoying your covers and meanderings very much. Hope your pages aren't too stuck together!

Regards,
A.E.

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Yvonne Brunton

Wed 6th Feb 2013 12:34

I shed a few tears of laughter reading this. I'm sure Shakespeare wooden mind you borowing his style.

<Deleted User> (10123)

Wed 6th Feb 2013 11:43

Wot I wont to no is what's in yon 'Dirty Books' please - more! more! they cried hopefully, ta muchly, Nick.

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Greg Freeman

Tue 5th Feb 2013 12:20

Masterly, John.

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steve pottinger

Mon 4th Feb 2013 17:46

Always make me smile, John! Great stuff. How about "... splash out on as *are* read"?

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John Coopey

Mon 4th Feb 2013 17:40

Ray raises a good point about "he may splash out on as he's read". I agree that it isn't quite right although "when he's read" doesn't do it either. This would mean he's splashing out on his dirty book after he's read it. I'm trying to burn both ends of the pun ("splashed out" = spent money and ejaculated); so clearly he'd have spent money on it before he's read it.
I'm struggling to get these concepts in 10 iambic syllables. Any suggestions would be helpful.
In contrast, I'm happy with my original "wife-man's nagging" rather than "wife's man-nagging". "Wife-man/men" was the forebear of "woman/women".

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 4th Feb 2013 16:36

To think that people believed that the Bard would never have a "Selby" date! No wonder he headed south where his product is still untainted on the shelf!!

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Ray Miller

Mon 4th Feb 2013 12:45

Great idea, well executed.

And eke he may his wife-man’s nagging halt - I know it's meant to be faux Shakespearean but "eke"!"wife's man - nagging" might be better. Either way it's a line to stop and think about.

Forsooth he may splash out on as he’s read - wouldn't "when he's read" be plainer?
Much enjoyed

tony sheridan

Mon 4th Feb 2013 10:15

Nice one John! The garden shed.....a castle! Take care, Tony.

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Fkx

Mon 4th Feb 2013 09:09

Aw! This is an absolute joy to read. Crisp in execution, thank you for sharing.

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