Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

Assignation

entry picture

I saw you waiting 

in the light 

stood there waiting

standing there

saw you in

the window's light

standing facing

to the light

from the windows

tall and bright

from the shopping

arcade's light

from the arcade's

neon glare

I saw you shopping

standing there

 

I saw you standing

shopping there

saw you with the

shopping there

In the arcade windows glare

stood there standing

unaware

stood there standing

sun bleached hair

watched by shoppers

stood to stare

bathed within the

window's light

before the windows

tall and bright

in the light just

standing there

I stood standing

and he stood there

 

you stood waiting

I stood there

both of us stood

standing there

you stood standing

unaware

I watched you

as he watched

her.

 

words and foto T Carroll

reworked

 

◄ As if to care

Tour de France- Versailles / Paris Champs-Élysées ►

Comments

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 16th Jun 2013 12:39

This is very unusual, and very effective. IMO, the precise repetitions and small variations give a real feeling of fascination, almost voyeurism, and passing 'insignificance', like the movements of a crowd.

Profile image

Katy Megan Hughes

Wed 12th Jun 2013 21:36

Love it!

Profile image

Harry O'Neill

Tue 11th Jun 2013 21:41


Like your vowel choices in this.

(it would be a good performer)

tony sheridan

Tue 11th Jun 2013 00:36

Like this! Take care, Tony.

Profile image

Graham Sherwood

Sun 9th Jun 2013 22:55

Clever stuff indeed Tommy. Now got you on my short list of favourites!

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message