(Shadow)
There’s a constant ache of a memory -
Your eyes, your smile and your hair;
I fell in love with a shadow,
Though, of course, there was nothing there.
The pulse of the thing was enormous
It beat in my head night and day
The piteous joke and pain of it
Was it only travelled one way.
So the pulse throbs on unabated
A secret cross that I bear
I fell in love with a shadow
Though, of course, there was nothing there.
Nice one John. Wistful and poignant.
Hi John, I agree completely with Isobel. This is so simple but so effective. I always loved your dialect poems, but its good to see you are writing in a range of styles. I love this!
Cate xx
I love this one John - for many reasons.
I like the way that the rhyme seems incidental, aids flow but does not distract from the feel.
'The pulse of the thing was enormous' - I thought for a moment there might be a funny sting in the tail - but you managed to restrain your naughty sense of humour all the way through!
I like it because it so sums up infatuation - falling love with the idea of someone rather than the reality - which reminds me of rather a good song by John Togher's band :)
Thanks for taking part in our little comp - I feel things are heating up :)
x
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Francine
Wed 3rd Jul 2013 04:50
Yep, love it. Simple, yet profound.