owl sinks soft
like a silk handkerchief
bringing blackness to vole and leveret
soft as fog
sharp as razors owl sinks down
like a blanket over a birdcage
then
swish, away, a lens shape,
slips into the barn
quiet as snow….
This is good, no doubt about that. Would you consider dropping a few repetitions like 'soft',or the repeated simile structure, (using metaphors instead), making the poem even more minimal? Just a thought.
Thank you. I clicked on the link. It is quite magical.
I hope you were able to access the film and soundtrack? Just click on the link - cos the poem itself is an oldie :)
What a lovely read. You can just picture it.
Beautiful and effective use of words. Delightful to read.
A gem.
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Frances Macaulay Forde
Thu 20th Feb 2014 05:53
I'm a huge fan of putting poetry on film... thanks and well done to all involved. Loved the owl illustration on here too!