sian howell

Lily

by sian howell

Friday 10th April 2009 12:08 pm (first posted Thursday 9th April 2009 2:00 am)

Swift, sudden, sideways glances,

hushed 'off camera' murmurs.

Rumour sipped from whisperings-

flat and stale, spoken through vapid lips.

Greedy, needy eyes pinch and grasp

at my passing shadow.

This mass, this horde of polyester dress and suit,

this gathered congregation of evenness.

I am amongst them - explicit and exposed,

always controversial and different.

I portray nothing but quietude,

my gaze sweeps the room before me

and clears the way to my seat.

Steadfast, I am fixed on nothing and everything,

my peace of mind in tatters

camouflaged by compressed powder-

a thickened blanket of disguise.

I await release,

anticipate it- hopeful of promised calm.

The door opens, a lily emerges -

a single white flower -

flushed with blusher and paint,

styled and set , fixed with pins.

I am once again translucent,

content to watch another gleam and shimmer.

◄ This

Gone to Earth ►

Comments

Graham Sherwood

Tue 14th Apr 2009 21:15

Once again the turmoil is there. Both steadfast and fragile. I had a lot of trouble understanding this piece of work for what you wanted the reader to perceive. It's vagueness eventually becomes its strength to me. Then the action at the ends pricks this bubble also. I'd love to know what you were thinking, although I don't think you should tell. Graham.

Francine

Sat 11th Apr 2009 19:00

Read this several times and you describe so many underlying feelings in this... and I think we feel similarly too...
That is what I love so much about your work Sian : )

<Deleted User> (5646)

Fri 10th Apr 2009 09:19

Hi Sian,
this reminded me of two different yet similar instances in life.
1. when you walk into a strange place alone for the first time and it feels like all eyes are upon you until the door opens again and the next victim walks in.

2. When you go back to somewhere you used to visit frequently and everyone turns to look at you before whispering in the neighbours ear about where you've been and how you look.

Incidentally, i agree with Darrens comment about the whisper line. Rumours sipped from the whisperings makes more sense to me too. :-)

Nice poem with a touch of reality.
Janet.x

Noetic-fret!

Fri 10th Apr 2009 01:05

hello Sian, this one put me in a calm place. i felt as if it was an inner voice of the writer, and though solemn, there is a quietness about it that niggled. Almost as if, sedation against ones will couldnt ignite the scream inside. It seemed to me, a heart forlorn and lost. Nice work Sian, deeply touched me.
mike
x

<Deleted User>

Thu 9th Apr 2009 22:46

Hi again yes it is a woman's magazine but literary of course and it' s very good i subscribed to it years ago and read it often as i learn a lot from the writers in it . Good luck with it if you do and thank you for being so receptive. :-) i read all your poems they are very powerful with a subtle voice and i like that.

<Deleted User>

Thu 9th Apr 2009 22:15

I don't know how you feel about this - just a suggestion - have you thought of sending this off to Mslexia?

<Deleted User>

Thu 9th Apr 2009 21:50

lovely - Ido like your work it has a gentleness but power in it and is quitely strong and assured which is the strength of your work

just wondering about dress and suit - is it not either dress or suit?

(Hope marital advice poem worked ;))

Gus Jonsson

Thu 9th Apr 2009 21:15

Love this Sian
Reading through a few times gives off an echo feel a sepia colouring flickering film image.
Love the gentle dreaminess of the piece.

Regards
Gusx

Rodney Wood

Thu 9th Apr 2009 20:44

Lovely hazy feeling - like the wings of a dragon fly.

darren thomas

Thu 9th Apr 2009 16:14

I like this.

I read it as a you returning to a social scene after an unforced period of absence, like the breakdown of a relationship? How you conceal your true emotions and insecurities and how you behave as you're expected to behave. Two identities almost. The person people believe you are and a real self buried deep within.
Well crafted. No sharp words with a good flow.
'Whispering sipped from rumours'? I like the notion of this, but is the whispering the subject or the rumour? I tried it in my head as 'Rumours sipped from the whispering' and it made more sense to me.
I Like your stuff. Thoughtful and profound and always worth reading.

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