Oh me baby went out with the bathwater

‘e went sailin’ darn the drain

Me baby went out with the bathwater

Ain’t it just a blimmin’ shame!

 

‘e was never a beautiful baby

With a face like a little pug

Me baby went out with the bathwater

Cos I forgot the plug!

 

I remember when I ‘ad ‘im

It came as a big surprise

When ‘e popped out with a scream and a shout

I could ‘ardly believe me eyes!

 

Cos…

‘e didn’t look like the milkman

or the man wot delivers the coal

the knife grinder didn’t look like ‘im at all

or the plasterer wot did me wall

the bloke wot drives the ‘ansom cab

the fisherman who gives me crabs

the tailor chap wot darns me drawers

the bloke at the florist that sells me flowers…..

the beefy butcher with tasty chops

the stage door johnnies cos they’re all fops

 

‘e was never a beautiful baby

With a face like a Toby jug

Me baby went out with the bathwater

Cos I forgot the plug!

 

I remember when I ‘ad ‘im

It came as a big surprise

When ‘e popped out with a scream and a shout

I could ‘ardly believe me eyes!

 

Cos…

‘e’s not like our local bobby

Who walks up and down on ‘is beat

‘e’s not a bit like the postman

The one with the big flat feet

The baker with ‘is loaves and rolls

The fish monger with ‘is haddock and soles

The pawnbroker where I takes me stuff

The tobacconist where I get me snuff

The man down the pub who sells me gin

The bookies where I never win!

The bloke what mends me pots and pans

The vicar…now ‘es a small-ish man….

And you’d ave to be a man of very limited stature

to father a tiny little baby like this!

 

A baby wot’s small enough to go down the plug ‘ole….

 

Me baby went out with the bathwater

‘e went sailin’ darn the drain

Me baby went out with the bathwater

Ain’t it just a blimmin’ shame!

 

‘e was never a beautiful baby

‘e ‘ad such an ugly mug!

Me baby went out with the bathwater

Cos I forgot the bloody plug!

Oh dearie me!