(a response to Cottage holidays in the Lakes new advertising campaign)

Tom loves holidays
Tom has a fear of flying
Tom has a fear of drowning
Tom has been banned from wearing a life-jacket  on the Mersey ferries
Tom has been refused a passport
Tom is not allowed to drive
Tom is averse to noisy amusement arcades
...ditto children
Tom has no tent-pegs
Tom has no tent
Tom hates camping
Tom is not allowed to wander around Tesco in his dressing gown in hi slippers anymore
Tom has to wear an ankle-bracelet
Tom has
Tom is forgetful
Tom has no Tom-Tom.