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Taxi at the door

one 

bottle of Drambuie

I 'phoned her again 

two

bottles of gin

she said she would sort something

three

bottles of Scotch

the 'phone rang but it was not her

four

bottles of vodka

more people than expected turned up

five

bottles of vermouth

she was not amongst them

six

bottles of wine

I rang her again

no answer: I left her a message

seven

bottles of ginger ale

the patio party spilled into the house

eight

bottles of lemonade

she was not amongst them

It was the sunniest day of the year

nine 

bottles of soda water

the neighbours occupied the front garden

ten

bottles of cola

they brought friends and family and drink

eleven 

bottles of beer

everybody mingled and danced in the sun

she had not arrived

and 

 buckets of ice and lemons

somebody told me that a taxi was at the front door

and

we

carried in trays of food

she turned the corner

and

we stood together smiling

with a different sun in our eyes 

 

words and foto  Tommy Carroll

 

◄ Monsoon winds

moving closer ►

Comments

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Juhi Gupte

Wed 24th Feb 2016 06:03

Every word describes her absence.

Soul Deep!!

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 23rd Feb 2016 19:58

Hilarious - the obvious physical activity and the undercurrent of tension driving the real importance forward - Like the depths of internal meaning behind the merry melodic 'Twelve Days of Christmas'. And the way that the similarity just 'crashed' at the end, as the 'real' story takes precedence.

I may be so 'out there' as to be just ridiculous. But the thought did occur to me.

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Anna Ghislena

Tue 23rd Feb 2016 18:40

I really enjoyed this Tommy. The "I" is, I presume, you? If so you must have been pretty sozzled by the time "She" turned up! Really effect structure here too! Loved it!

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Laura Taylor

Tue 23rd Feb 2016 12:37

Love this Tommy, structure's really interesting and I had a sense of foreboding as the booze racked up!

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 23rd Feb 2016 07:49

yes!

"everybody mingled and danced in the sun"

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