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I cannot hold you
against your will.
Spurned in daylight
you visit me in my
dreams at night.
I severed the cord
which tied you to me,
like a helium balloon
you floated away
the very next day
you returned
fearless
stronger.
You'll never know
how hard i tried.
You
are
my
weakness.
Anyone who has known how powerful attraction (to a person) can be will relate to this. It is a simple but powerful piece ... and a bit scary.
i like the poem ,if you call it addiction it would make it harder to break , as it is well even helium balloons go flat :)
eventually ,
<Deleted User> (5646)
Sun 9th Aug 2009 12:32
Thanks John, Anthony, Francine, Deb and Dave.
Francine, i think we often speak the same language, we just interpret differently sometimes. Thankyou. :-)
Dave- i agree with you, maybe it should be left to the reader what the ''addiction'' is. It could be anything we consider to be a weakness. What one person thinks of as a weakness, another might feel is a strength?
I liked this a lot too, Janet. It does seem perfectly balanced as it is, but it's a pity the word 'addiction' isn't in there somewhere. That's what it's about isn't it. But maybe the reader can fill that much in
Deborah Jordan Bailey
Sat 8th Aug 2009 20:08
I like this very much Janet. We have heard and cut similar chords, as you told me. He might come back strong but you are stronger. Keep that circle of light spinning around yourself. Deb xx
Are we speaking the same language now?!
Absolutely love this Janet!
When in doubt - go with your first instinct : )
Hi Janet,
I liked this very much - it suggests hidden depths! I couldn't imagine you having a weakness. I think the title is very apt - anything along the lines of "temptation." I might be tempted to suggest a couple of very minor alterations - but they are just that - very minor, and I would feel a little petty for suggesting them. But you have made me curious! ;-)
Regards,
A.E.
Hi Janet, you seem very reflective lately. I like the mood of this.
Titles are quite important I think but it is difficult to suggest for something written by someone else. For what it's worth I would stick with the current title.
John
<Deleted User> (5646)
Fri 7th Aug 2009 11:04
I had two titles for this and couldn't decide which one to use.
The other option is ''Addiction''.
Any ideas?
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Isobel
Wed 12th Aug 2009 18:29
Mmmmm - I'm sure this will strike a severed chord for lots of people. Great poem Janet - simple but as Anthony says - with hidden depths.