a king without a crown

by Stuart Buck

Tuesday 10th January 2017 5:05 pm

the bouncer stands strong, a titan in a flood of rats pouring through the gates

his heart erupting from his frame

his veins stand proud, plasma filled leylines navigating his mishapen arms

the tight white t-shirt barely concealing the telltale pockmarks of steroid abuse

tattoos like cartography, mapping his descent from nubile, frosted youth

to glazed middle aged man, a childs name here a skull there

chinese text trace waterways down his back,

he is peace, he is wisdom, never give up says the nape of his thick neck,

a crack away from hunting down his latest prey, a scrawny teenager

with a fake ID, who he hoists in the air like an offering to the gods before unceremoniously

dumping the lithe frame over the roped gate of the nightclub,

flexing his muscles as the girls watch on

blissfully unaware that everything they hold dear is hardly there at all.

Comments

Harry O'Neill

Wed 11th Jan 2017 20:48

Stu,
This sounds like our place as the dementia takes over more and more.

(And that`s just the customers...a bouncer wouldn`t stand a chance)

Stu Buck

Wed 11th Jan 2017 17:42

thanks all, lovely as ever to get such positive response.
thought id try something less cosmic this time around but couldnt resist the old depressing, mystical send off line.
graham - i had hoped to show a little of his vulnerability but i fear it may be a case of the person in my mind not translating to the person in the poem.

John Coopey

Wed 11th Jan 2017 15:09

I've always thought, Stu, that if a pub needs bouncers it doesn't need me, although Quiz Night can get a bit lively sometimes.

raypool

Wed 11th Jan 2017 12:42

What I love about this Stu is that it doesn't drill down into the character more than to open the mind of the reader ; it is suitably opaque on specifics adding to the island like mentality of the type. It is sad how conventions apply to jobs in this way allowing little freedom for interpretation by the participants. What people expect is what they get therefore. Definitely a stage up from the commissionaire or should I say down? The last line is a masterstroke, a whole realm of sadness in the mix.

Ray

Graham Sherwood

Wed 11th Jan 2017 09:47

I would have liked to have seen a glimpse of his vulnerability thrown into the mix too. Strong descriptives but who is he? We didn't find out.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Wed 11th Jan 2017 09:32

unusually to the point for an SB offering but excellent nonetheless - and bizarrely the word 'titan' and the subject of 'leylines' have both been very recent topics with my teenage boys.

I guess bouncers are a necessary evil, I'm just glad I don't have any reason to interact with them or their neanderthal ways anymore.

Raj Ferds

Wed 11th Jan 2017 07:29

Brilliant Stuart.

My favourite line:
tattoos like cartography, mapping his descent from nubile, frosted youth.

Raj

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a king without a crown

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