The comedian’s onstage

And he’s pissed at the poncey liberal middle classes

So far up their own arses

He wants to explode their politeness

Test their preconceptions

Which he can seize, rebuild and freeze

And then hold up them high

As an example of comedy’s progression

He’s had several Bill Hicks sessions

He knows the score

Thinks comics who talk about nothing are a bore

So he decides to be “dark”

He decides to be “edgy”

And anyone who doesn’t laugh

They’re just too cagey

 

So rape joke after rape joke

Shoots out of his mouth

And it’s all cool

He can handle the audience’s “ooohhh”s

Because if you’re offended

He’ll refuse to mend it

He’s being ironic, y’see

And doesn’t really mean it

 

So for a few minutes that room becomes Joke Rape World

While downstairs in the pub a girl

Goes to the toilet, her staggering ever so slight

She’s had one too many, but that’s alright

It’s Saturday night

And after a hard week’s work

She deserves to relax

But as she turns her back

Her date gets out his wrap

And pours the powdered white fellas

Into her Stella

 

And the following morning, naked, she wakes alone

Although she swears somebody walked her home

Her heads thumping

Stomach’s churning

Usual Sunday hangover burning

But then

She feels a sting in between her thighs

Reaches down, lightly touching the pain

Examines her fingertips, and her eyes strain

At the dark, drying blood

And she feels the red rising of silent shame

And because she can’t remember

She thinks she’s to blame

 

The comedian continues

Leading the audience through the world of sarcasm he’s built

And after every laugh

They have a tiny collective spasm of guilt

But there’s no looking inward as to why

Waving that social conscience goodbye

Because the chances are good the comedian doesn’t hate women

Just loves the superiority of the stage

And the glow of winning

The rape jokes are just short cuts

To an easy reaction

And there’s no harm

As long as he’s funny

And his timing’s tight…

 

… Right?

 

But just because he’s not a misogynist

Doesn’t mean he can’t preach it

And just because he’s attempting rebellion

Doesn’t mean he can’t teach the shit

We’ve been fed all ours lives

Irony without a reason

Is just an empty excuse for teasing

And it takes the piss

Because when that comedian leaves the mic

Joke Rape World still exists

It insists on slicing our ears

To the sound of billions of women

Hammering at every wall of all the years

And rape just becomes something

That happens on our TVs

And as the audience leaves

No one sees

The guy leading the paralytic girl

Towards the humming taxi

 

Rape jokes just keep rape in its silent cage

And irony puts a stitched smile on the victim’s face

It’s all about emphasis and perspective

About where all your comedic rage is directed

And this is where the problem gets dissected

Because there are some funny aspects of this harsh subject

Tearing into a system that gives harsher sentences to weed dealers

Telling us a girls deserve it just  because they’re too easy

Being drunk, wearing short skirts

They’re asking to be hurt

All these things can be the aim of satire

A torch to set fire to unthinking views

And this our cue to put a stop to it

Because if irony’s a comedian’s only excuse

It just doesn’t fucking cut it