I've always been disgusted to see old blokes who'd pissed down their fronts.  Well, I suppose that age has now granted me some wisdom into this phenomenon, which I ascribe to a number of factors.

1.  As a man gets older his waistline thickens so he pulls his trousers up ever higher to his narrowest girth, usually just under his tits. (The significance of this will soon be apparent).

2.  This means that the bottom of his flies is now some three inches above his nob.

3.  So if your nob is shorter than three inches you're obviously in a bit of trouble.

4.  More obviously still, prostate problems means slower, less forceful flow and loss of sensation, with the consequence of his not being certain if he has started or indeed stopped.

There are solutions to this problem, the most obvious one being to take your breeches down, sit on the pot and piss like a woman.  But the thing is, you never do; you just think "A good shake and all will be well". But it never is.

The cruel irony is that the worst colour to wear to display your frailty is....

....beige.

Fortunately, being happily married, I am not needing to play the dating game. Thank goodness!  It isn't a good first date look.