Granny Hi Tech

 My mum’s been posting selfies… at the age of ninety two!

She’s becoming all tech savvy, whilst I haven’t got a clue.

They say a dog can get too old to teach itself new tricks,

But she’s on Twitter, Instagram, even downloads from Netflix.

It all started back at 80, when the tablets which she took

Turned into a new device, a brand new i-mac book.

She logged on to her emails, sent me messages so sweet,

Attaching from her camera, pictures and a tweet.

She went off to a night class, her notebook clutched in hand,

The nice young man who helped her, made her understand

The joys of new technology, wifi and the rest.

She came back on a Segway, in a dayglo hi vis vest.

She worried she was losing it, but got a memory stick,

And now it’s all on icloud, she can find it really quick.

She opened up a channel on media sharing sites,

And now she’s earning millions, youtube star over night.

 

She got herself a fitbit, for when she walks downstairs,

Is always going on Fortnite, where she gives the kids a scare.

She splashed out on a botvac, which helps her clean the house,

I’m sure I saw it one day being ridden by a mouse.

She bought a Bluetooth speaker for radio 4 all day,

Then a new Alexa, which would do just what she’d say.

She puts on a smart headset and lives life virtually

But just plays games of tidying up and making scones for tea.

But now she wants to upgrade, even wants a fridge that speaks,

Tells you when to order milk and when your icebox leaks.

She wants to put the heating on, when popping down the shops,

By using all the fancy apps to add to her drop box.

I think she may join Tinder to help her light the fires,

But she may be disappointed to find it’s full of liars.

 

But one thing about my mum, which still quite puzzles me,

With all these fancy gadgets, she still can’t work TV.

And finding eject buttons, or play on her hifi,

Is such a massive struggle it really makes her sigh.

She’s such a hi tech granny, updated every day,

And we all think she’s magic, so smart in every way!

 

M x