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ONOMATOPOEIA

Onomatopoiea, i'd like to make it clear

is just the description of the sounds

that actions make when they strike our ear. 

Here's one example: a crash or a smash,

everyday words; a bit of a shock

when something happens to make those sounds

that often enough will cause a fleeing

like the hissing sound of someone peeing. 

 

Not so grating but disconcerting

nevertheless is a squelch when treading

in a mess, it's natural companion the splatter

from mouth to ground, it's just a matter

of being around such phenomena,

not that rare and probably commoner

 

than a puff of smoke from a conjuror's cloak

at the end of the pier with a seagull's cry

waving this pointless poem goodbye. 

🌷(5)

◄ INSPIRATION

AT THE END, OR IS IT THE BEGINNING? ►

Comments

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raypool

Tue 21st Aug 2018 22:56

It is funny how a particular word can stick on the palate - pointless seems like a desecration and a cancellation of effort, but I did not intend it to be that way. To be thought clever is on the surface a great compliment, but to me that might be like a display of ability. If that happens, it should not be deliberate, rather inherent. Anyway thanks Brian and Anya and Don for your comments.

Darren, thanks also for shining my ego ! Glad you enjoyed it.


David, you were with me at the end, and the pointlessness, like a spit of land called a ness and also a point came together in my mind. Talking of conjurors, their tricks should I think never be revealed.

Thanks mate.

Taylor and Jennifer, there we go again, it must be clever ! As for hisses, I have a long memory Jennifer; hydraulics rhymes with an unmentionable word which I like too !


Ray

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jennifer Malden

Tue 21st Aug 2018 16:48

Agree on clever, not pointless. Some hydraulics you must have Ray for 'hisses'! for my males I would use more flows or trickles!!!!!

Very enjoyable. Jennifer

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Taylor Crowshaw

Tue 21st Aug 2018 15:58

Definitely clever..got us talking at my house...?

<Deleted User> (19421)

Tue 21st Aug 2018 07:20

Nice one Ray!

Yes very clever and enjoyable...

Cheers


djb

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Don Matthews

Tue 21st Aug 2018 00:56

I'm with Brian Ray. This poem is clever, not pointless?

<Deleted User> (18980)

Mon 20th Aug 2018 22:18

You say pointless Ray, I say clever.

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