(A visit to JTF's tomorrow beckons)

 

When times are hard at Christmastide and money’s truly tight

We’re here to target poverty and help you in your plight

Providing all those things you crave

Without the need to scrimp and save

Our motto which to all we gave

‘Thou shan’t go short of shite’.

 

We’ve snowmen that’s inflatable to 40’ in height

So perfect for your backyard when illuminant at night

Tat and tripe stacked on our shelves

Tacky reindeer or pot elves

Which profit no-one but ourselves

‘Thou shan’t go short of shite’.

 

There’s Kevin Carrot, Santa mugs and outdoor fairy lights

Poinsettias and Powerman – you’ll buy them all despite

The lack of pennies in your bank

And credit rating which has sank

It’s stores like us you need to thank

‘Thou shan’t go short of shite’.

 

No need for you to question if consumerism’s right

Be happy you’re persuaded to buy everything in sight

The season’s meaning has been lost

Under plastic snow and frost

Forget the love – just count the cost

‘Thou shan’t go short of shite’.

 

So part with hard-earned pennies on the trashy, cheap and trite

December’s not the time of year for you to feel contrite

Repent at leisure all next year

That’s when the gombeen men appear

But don’t mind that; spread cash and cheer

'Thou shan't go short of shite'.