As a child,

I belonged.

Part of a simply defined community,

in a world I understood

but comprehend no more.

 

I’m told life moves on,

but somehow I’m left behind.

I no longer see the picture

or know how to play the game.

 

Some say I’m a dinosaur.

Others? A threatened minority.

‘White, male, heterosexual, atheist, pensioner’

A potential self-classifying statistic.

A single tick-box on the next census form.

 

 

Is it just me?

 

 

Definition - Colour - White

 

As a child,

everybody in my world

was unquestionably white.

No alternatives.

I know we had the Black & White Minstrels on the telly,

but even they were actually white.

 

 

Now, I’m classified between ‘Mildly Anaemic’ and ‘Deathly Pallor’ on the Dulux colour chart attached to the Census document.

 

 

Definition - Gender - Male

 

As a child,

everybody in my world

accepted that it was the male of the species

that dictated events,

and was born to be the provider for the family;

the man of the house;

the bread-winner and hunter-gatherer.

First into battle, second to none.

That’s when we had an Empire!

 

Then this equality thing comes along

and I see women doing what, for centuries,

had been my reserve.

They’re everywhere!!

Confusing to say the least.

Women reading the News! I ask you!

 

So what am I now?

Man or mouse?

 

 

Definition - Sex - Heterosexual

 

As a child,

everybody in my world

was raised to believe that,

for the male of the species,

the love of a good woman was the only way to go,

and anything other than that

wasn’t the sort of thing

that went on in West Yorkshire.

 

All I hear now is LGBT.

You don’t understand?

Nor did I,

until taken to one side by my son,

and educated in the ways

of the birds and the bees,

letter by letter, blow by blow.

 

After the lecture,

I thought I’d got it cracked.

Until,

my Grand-daughter told me she’s currently ‘Q’.

That’s ‘Questioning’ apparently.

 

She’s not the only one!

 

 

Definition - Religion - Atheist

 

As a child,

everybody in my world was a Christian.

The path of least resistance.

Fidei Defensor,

defender of faith,

steadfast and true.

A contented ‘C of E’ doubter.

Until,

questions mounted

for which there seemed no answer,

and the remnants of faith

finally drained into a pool of apathy.

 

Now it’s pluralism

that’s stuck its head over the parapet.

So many religions to choose from

and I don’t know what they stand for.

Do they have the same values as me?

 

It seems faith isn’t as black and white as it was in my day

 

 

Definition - Employment - Pensioner

 

As a child,

everybody in my world

saw their elders as a respected member

of the family and community.

 

Today, the opinions of those of advancing years

seem too easily dismissed.

Pensioners allegedly living in luxury,

With a wealth of benefits.

Knee and hip replacements

10% off at B&Q on a Wednesday

Free bus pass

Free prescriptions

Free Viagra? (OK, maybe not that)

The high life gained,

as I’m constantly reminded,

at the expense

of the current and future feckless generations,

hands constantly outstretched for contributions

from the Bank of Mum and Dad.

 

Must go now.

I have a form to complete.

 

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