Betray her not with flowers,
while sharing her sweet scent.
Her petals take time to open
and spring may yet repent.
For she who belongs to nature
has passions of her own.
So shade your restless cloisters
wherein you foster your pretty games,
lest you perjure her moonglow dreams
and bring her down in flames.
"Betray her not with flowers" great opening first line! immediately caught my attention and made me want to keep reading.
elPintor
Sat 16th Feb 2019 14:48
Hi Ray,
I especially like the last two lines--I am often astonished by the liberty some find through presumption.
The rest of this comment is absolutely irrelevant, but I thought you might get a laugh...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdJLEYR9Igw&list=PLBbSOInB5MhRBMXsyxGTXUo3sAFmNfxEm&index=7
Rachel
PS
If you watch and find it overly offensive, please report back. I'm sending it because my memory tells me it was funny, though, I'm unable to look for myself due to certain local restrictions )
Take care.
<Deleted User> (21487)
Sat 16th Feb 2019 07:46
"lest you perjure her moonglow dreams
and bring her down in flames"
this is a pure unselfish love poem, gentle and sensitive.
I am not a fan of love poems, to me, most seem contrived, but this one is believable.
thank you for writing it, it is beautiful
Sweet Valentine with her head in the clouds, only the words of poet can catch her now. Lovely lyrics Ray. Thanks for sharing. ?
If you wish to post a comment you must login.
This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.
raypool
Tue 19th Feb 2019 21:42
Apologies for my late response folks.
Your lines are rather good too Vautaw. Nice to be appreciated !
Dorothy that is a great compliment. I started it with a sort of warning, as I wanted an edge. Often the wooing of ladies is a sort of game, and not always honourable. Thanks!
Thanks Rachel for the link which I enjoyed, as it was so robust and the guy at the wrong end of the experience altogether. My stuff is hardly ever straightforward, and this almost seems like a slap on the wrist. so thanks for looking in.
Thanks Erin for the interest! I think an opening line should be strong. Although I don't think this is suitable for a valentine's card!
Thanks of course for your likes: Frances, Keith, Jennifer, Jon, Anya and Jason.
Ray