Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

BACARDI TAIL LIGHTS MACHINE GUN FAREWELL

entry picture

BACARDI TAIL LIGHTS MACHINE GUN FAREWELL

 

He tried to drown his dog

under the canal bridge

but it came back.

Rang the planning department

and warned them there'd be blood

if one more estate was built.

His dad abandoned,

hobbling to the pigeon loft.

Daniel is leaving tonight on a plane.

Local junkies got hold

of the bottles and the furniture

then ended up scrapping

in a pool of vomit.

Seemed like Christmas in that street,

the girlfriend transparent

on a dirty mattress

hidden in very long grass.

 

Yellow Mama # 77. Editor Cyndi Rosmus.

 

 

 

 

🌷(1)

◄ QUEEN OF THE NIGHT

A DREAM OF MISFORTUNE ►

Comments

Profile image

john short

Wed 3rd Apr 2019 00:17

Thanks Ray and Stu for the appreciation. Wasn't too sure what to make of this poem so helpful to get feedback. WOL is such a useful tool for us poets.

Profile image

raypool

Tue 2nd Apr 2019 18:00

Bleak and uncompromising stuff John. I like the sense of escape in the pigeon loft and the plane. A real sense of dislocation dislocation.

Ray

Profile image

Stu Buck

Tue 2nd Apr 2019 16:24

the ending of this is simply stunning john

Profile image

john short

Mon 1st Apr 2019 19:29

Cheers Martin,

Until last night this poem had been in stanzas but I think it works better like this (says me). Thanks for your comment - it's always helpful to get reactions on here.

Profile image

Martin Elder

Mon 1st Apr 2019 11:01

An all too familiar tale in certain parts of towns and cities where people are left to rot just like the places they live in.

nice one

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message