There is the blackbird on a high roof point
above a void of wall.
A coil of sound trembles there,
who will hear the call?
The fresh and thundery air
senses the fever of spring,
fledglings test their early wings,
all is urgency.
Then the circle completes
with a liquid response
distant and clear,
a worm of sound
sculpted perfectly for my human ear.
sorry to come to this late Ray but have to agree - good to see you have your mojo back. T.
Thanks so much Jon; very glad you liked it.
Ray
Hi Ray
Stunning poem...really enjoyed reading this
.jon
Hi everyone - I kept coming back to this to hone it down - a valuable aid to communication, but a hard lesson to learn IMO. Just as a thought here now, when you hear people repeat themselves over and over to get impact to make a point, think how much energy might be wasted , not only in talking, but in listening.
Lesson over, and no reflection at all on those who need space and time to get a message over, which of course is also a technique best left to the admired and worshipped.
Martin, Lovely to read one's sweated thoughts in terms of praise!
Stu, thanks mate. I salute your taste and wallow.
Mona S. Very glad you liked this ! Thank you.
Dorothy, kind of you to compare your own story with my own. I was transfixed by this event. and of course to actually experience what we right about should give force to it.
A very astute comment, Peter. I know you take lots of space for your work, and that is great for you and works beautifully. I try to condense my stuff where possible. Baby and bathwater sometimes go down the plughole of course!
Appreciated David. You seem to have the Dorset look about you ! It's great that the names of counties still contain the power to bring back imagery. The fledglings gave a fussy feel to the early evening event. Sorry you missed that wonderful sharing this time round. Our fellas were very low key, maybe one or two came out. Glad the Circle worked for you. My thoughts too.
Thanks for reading and liking: Graham, Brian, Jane, Poetikally Anointed and Jon.
Lovely piece of work, Ray. Like so many others, efficient with words, long on content and ambience.
Peter
<Deleted User> (21487)
Mon 20th May 2019 08:21
Ray
I fully agree with the comments below.
my favourite line
"a coil of sound trembles there"
it so perfectly describes 'my' Blackbird on the topmost branch of the tree by my house.
Dorothy
That's beautiful..
i agree with martin this is gosh darned yummy mr pool
There are some fabulous lines her Ray. But favourite has got to be
with a liquid response
distant and clear,
a worm of sound
sculpted perfectly for my human ear.
absolutely stunning
Nice one
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raypool
Thu 23rd May 2019 19:50
Thanks Trevor. This was one I worked on a lot so it's gratifying that it seems to work. People seem to like nature poetry!
Ray