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Do Not Bend Forward...

Do not bend forward in those jeans so tight,
Pale flesh that shouldn’t see the light of day;
Lace, lace against your skin so soft and white.

Those shapely, rounded, squatting hips invite
My roving eye, lured in and led astray;
Do not bend forward in those jeans so tight.

Stretched denim curving, arcing out of sight,
With squeaking stitches pulled in every way,
Lace, lace against your skin so soft and white.

Hip hugging waist, cut low just to excite
With frills and panty lines all on display
Do not bend forward in those jeans so tight.

Battles rage inside; what’s wrong? what’s right?
Hot blood and seething mud pools boil away.
Lace, lace against your skin so soft and white.

So how am I supposed to sleep at night?
Disturbed, confused, my mind in disarray
Do not bend forward in those jeans so tight
Lace, lace against your skin so soft and white.

humourpastiche

◄ Machino ( A Sestina)

A study in balls ►

Comments

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 16th Mar 2010 13:03

Thanks for your patience, people. I feel like an idiot. I'm just going to have to write one, a villanelle, to cement it in my brain.

Don't hold your breath!

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 14th Mar 2010 10:02

I'm sure Dylan would have enjoyed this poem hugely! And the bottoms!!

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Dave Carr

Sun 14th Mar 2010 09:59

Cynthia - I've sent you a You Tube link to the original. Thanks for all the comments especially from those with the surname Thomas. I should have put an apology to Dylan Thomas. I love the original. No offence intended.

darren thomas

Sat 13th Mar 2010 16:18

Dylan Thomas indeed - and that's what you got when Dave read it at The Tudor the other night. Great stuff. Instantly recognisable. My only 'criticism' now is that I'll not be able to read DT's version again without thinking of tight jeans!

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Chris Dawson

Sat 13th Mar 2010 15:36

Cynthia - 'Do not go gentle in to that goodnight...' was what I got from it anyway.
Very clever stuff.
Cx

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 13th Mar 2010 13:51

This rhyme scheme is very 'tight'; 19 lines and only 2 end rhymes, quite a feat, even with line repetition. Is this a special form which I just don't remember? Also, is this a piece of 'pastiche', given Christine's reference to Mr. T? Please clue me in; I'm interested.

<Deleted User> (7164)

Sat 13th Mar 2010 13:04

Yay, thanks for posting this Dave.
I remember your performance of this at the Tudor too. It was great and came across with light humour and good natured.
It is clever, i agree.

Janet.x

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Chris Dawson

Sat 13th Mar 2010 09:39

I like this very much, very clever - I'm sure Mr T would've appreciated it too.
Cx

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Isobel

Sat 13th Mar 2010 09:39

Was somebody bending over the freezer counter, by any chance?

This is a super performance poem Dave. It went down so well at the Tudor and I forgot to mention it on discussion. It is hard to do humour but you do it so well and bring a nice breath of fresh air with it. I'm trying to cut down on my WOL involvement this month but it's not proving easy. Just couldn't resist commenting. x

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Dave Carr

Sat 13th Mar 2010 09:16

Thanks Ann.
I wrote it by the freezer counter in Asda. It's quite chilly there but I have a nice warm mac.

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Ann Foxglove

Sat 13th Mar 2010 06:31

Cute and enchanting in a slightly dirty old man kind of a way ;-)(not meaning to imply that you are a one of those of course!)

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