I am at the pit of my breakdown

Saying goodbye to sleep I once loved

Food I could once eat without nausea 

Dreams 

That once allowed rest

 

Help me 

I pray 

Sitting on the floor sobbing 

 

Do I allow this pain to make me human

Or wish it away?

 

I bring these matters to You 

I cannot do it alone 

 

I’m still processing 

Picking out the safest parts in the debris

My mind is a war zone 

My feelings caught in no man’s land 

 

Do I run and fight

Or retreat 

Back behind those safe walls that were once indestructable 

 

My only option is to sit and wait 

Pray this armour will protect me 

But it isn’t the weapons that harm me 

It is the fierce rains that derive from my tears 

Soaking me from within and leaving a chill in its place 

 

I pray 

That one day I will breathe again 

Before I am returned to the depths of the earth 

 

-one day I’ll make a decision and the battle will truly begin