Hi Mia,
thanks for commenting on my poem 'There to Here.'
and thanks for the compliment too.
However, a secret part of me would love to dare to write like you do. ;-)
I just haven't got the balls to post them let alone go on to produce and act the part. ha ha

Janet.x

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Regarding Animals in their Bags, Mia.. I'll tell you where that piece came from when I see you next, but I was a little drunk shall we say... lol

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Dear Mia, thanks for your comment on the 'Enigma of perception', you are far from thick, I have seen your work as you know ;-), it is just that I am a little crazy, it comes out sometimes in my script ;-) Yours as ever Thaumaturgically Supercharged ha ha ;-)) XX

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Thanks for you reading and your comments - Daisy ....is, in fact, my cat. :)
I love so much of your work, but I can't find 'Cheese' on here? - I enjoyed it very much when you read it at the Greenroom a couple of months ago.
Cx

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OOH ERR MISSUS ,carry on poetry

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Mia
I was actually only refering to one specific series of incidents, perhaps I should have made it clear that the people who dont contribute anything- YOU DO! as you write and take part. It was the spambots and just a couple of people who actually posted zero poems and made zero comments on anyones work. just one incidence, dotn worry sweetie and thanks for discussing the health and safety poem!!

PETE
X

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Hi Mia
Sorry I didn't know about you're ocd...

I was writing a book about my formative years and the experienes associated with ocd... back in the days when it was regarded as pure nutter behaviour... must discuss sometime.. as far as beastiality is concerned we can discuss that ...right now...!!!!!
GusXXX

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Hi, I really liked your piece, 'Beauty and the Beastiality'. Sort but sweet and a nice delivery.

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Loved the beastiality poem!!! :-) Set me smiling for the day!!!

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what a clever and wonderful way with words you have ...the audio sample was simply brilliant and performed with such confidence and wit. I laughed so much. Sian

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Hi Mia
Without wanting to sound sycophantic...Your performance was very special too....since Thursday night I find myself dithering with my gear stick whilst idling at lights.
I love special naughty girls!
Well done!
Gus

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Genius writing.
'liver must be punished' bloody brilliant poem
well done

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Dear Mia

Thank you for the comment 'A Genuine Friend'. Your comment is genuinely appreciated.

Have a safe and happy Halloween!!

Take care...Zuzanna

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Hey lovely, looking forward to seeing you in two weeks! Yay!
Hope all's well xXxx

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Kissing is an interview is wonderful! I am sure I have heard you perform that and I liked it then, but on paper I like it even more

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Hi Mia, i just want to say congratulations on your play, I (and my friends) thought that it was excellent, very funny and true to life, only nobody likes to say cos they're too embarrassed. I'll put a comment on Darren's review which is a thoroughly deserved tribute!

For your first play (not that you would have known) it was quite excellent. I thought you stuck your neck out with this considering the content, it was (I think) a brave thing to do, well done. I think it worked because it was in poetry, and even though it was down right rude (so no problem for me understanding it!) no-one would have been offended, whens the next one!

It was great to meet you and hope to see you again soon, I'll read some of the snippets from the show again now I've had it live, so to speak! Ha, nice to chat to Tracey and Emma too. If you get chance to look at my stuff I would appreciate your opinion, best wishes Jeffarama! XX

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..what else rhymes with "art"?

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Mia

Stun the world. Follow up your, what is sure to be marvellous, play with a play about the virtues of remaining chaste and being pleasant. It could end with a hymn and some morris dancing.

I'd be happy to advise on a pre-production conceptual level.

No? Alright then. Just an idea.

Steve

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Hi. Stumbled across you by chance and you have a similar sense of humour to mine .... crude, down to earth and down right dirty.
Like it.

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Hey! Sorry I missed Freed Up, was feeling a bit overwhelmed by work (of which I've been shirking).
I love your poems, and love the titles too :)

Are you going to reproduce 'Boner' anywhere (no pun intended!)?

JxXxx

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hiya! i really really enjoyed your poems. it's nice to hear something real. and funny.

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You have humour in your writing...

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Melon ball starter. Hmm!

Wkd blue as an aperitif.
Followed by 2 large scoops honeydew,
served up with lashings of squirty cream,
full length of a large, ripe, peeled banana.

p.s. i'll take a closer look at "Below the belt."

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Hi Mia, I'm new to this site and slowly but surely reading through various profiles. I think your samples are bloody hilarious. p.s. is it allowed to swear on this site?
Thanks for down to earth humour, much needed.
Janet.

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Hello Mia me old china...gawd bless you for your keeness for Max's existence...may indeed squeeze another volume out of the old bugger yet but ten years as Max is taking its toll.. have rediscovered my first love of music again and can't do both in the limited time i have these days....meant to come and have a chat at the Northern but had to dash off to give people lifts (stair ones)....love your stuff...big thanks to your lovely chum who bought a book...hope to meet up at a future slam..let me know if you're gigging in Manchester....www.myspace.com/thehurtfultaunts if you fancy checking the other side of Max...
take care
Max/Johnny

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Hiya Mia, Okay, their looking at me funny here because I have a stupid grin on my face and it's your fault. The whimsical nature of your poems sounds more like something a lad would be writting about, perhaps even funnier because your not. Give us more!

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Mia Darlone - is this an anagram of your name ? 'A random lie' possibly..?

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Once again you've made a happy man very old. No - that's not right - you know what I mean don't you?
Mia - your poetry is laugh out loud funny. When are we going to hear it performed at Wigan? Well, anywhere for that matter.
More from Mia. Brilliant.

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Hiya Mia

In work - skiving - and decided to read your new poems...

So glad I did. You've really cheered me up... You've made an old man very happy... Erm... Can we agree that I like your poems in a manner that doesn't make me sound like a perv?

Great. Porn.

F(ine) art's sub-title (Done as a posh bird) made me laugh out loud. And The liver is evil and must be punished reads well off the page, though it'd be worthwhile thinking about putting some audio samples of your work up here - you perform it well too. Both of your poems cover an important area of poetry rarely addressed. Namely - getting pissed; being sick; bad sex and farting. Well done! I'd like to see Larkin write stuff like that - given that he's dead.

And just WHAT are you looking up at in that new photo of yours?!

No. Wait. Don't answer that.

Steve

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Hi Mia

Here is that email as promised. Let me know how you get on.

Lainey McLean <journeyto2@googlemail.com


Phil

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Wow, great stuff.

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Hiya Mia, thanks for your comment onn my page.

You have a natural talent to both write and perform commedic poetry, a rare gift. Long may it continue.

Drop me your email add so I can send you a couple of my poems, talked about after the last Green Tee gig

Talk soon

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Mia - your poem about 'veg' had me laughing out loud! And that, believe me, is not something that I do often. Very, very, funny.
It was supposed to be funny - wasn't it?
Brilliant.

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Eh Up, Mia.

How reasurring to see that you've taken the filthy poem away and replaced it with a poem about a man's love for his bicycle. My tender and fragile sensibilities thank you. You left me quite breathless.

Oh, Happy New Year - and all that sort of thing.

Dying on your arse. Definitely one to do when you are dying on your arse. It could be a true punk poetry moment. At the end of the poem you could set off a firework or shoot an audience member just for effect...

...Please don't do that at Freed Up.

"Post-performance friendliness is directly proportional to the audience’s reaction to your poem"

True. In fact, one of life's few absolutes.

Cheery-bye!
Steve

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I want to see more of your work, Mia! I'm having Mia Darlone withdrawal-symptoms... I need a hit, lol.

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They approached me in a mild manner, chanting incantations while flaying my hide with a slightly warm, stout oaken branch blessed by the high priest of Nayhead. 27 years later I discovered poetry, it’s uncanny

- Even your bio is funny!
Sorry for repeating your own words back to you, but I'm highly impressed. I've never seen a genuinely funny woman before (French & Saunders and Victoria Wood and that Jenny somebody think they're funny...).

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Ironically she could probably do with getting undressed
(There’s a likely need for a darn good shag)
I’ve just said the word nob and she’s not impressed
Thank God I didn’t do ‘Cockney Rhyming Slag’
It’s not taken as intended - tongue in cheek
Do they really think I’ve slept with 8 blokes in one week?

Post-performance friendliness is directly proportional to the audience’s reaction to your poem:
They’re very friendly
If you get laughs
But they can’t possibly be seen talking to you
If you die on your ass
So assuming this type of environment exists
Will I return to the stage?
I’d rather slit my wrists!

Who am I kidding…
Next time I’ll wear tighter jeans and do ‘What a bummer’.

- LOL. You're fantastic, Mia. I always go for humour in my performances (especially on stage). It's easy to know if an audience likes you or not, if they laugh. I thought my stuff was funny, but I think I'd pay to see you.

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Stacks of DVDs are found
Mainly of the Tour de France
And a photo that has Olympic champion Chris Borderman’s face
Superimposed onto the body of a man wearing pants
They also found a bike with a hole in the seat
A dildo was positioned vertically underneath
Attached to the pedals – so it can be controlled by the feet
(At this stage an accompanying police officer’s face lit up – but she resisted taking her urge further – she was a wife and mother).

Mike was charged
He got 3 years probation
He was ordered to rehab
Where they are trying to replace bike-fucking with standard masturbation

- Jesus, Mia, that's feckin' brilliant! Absolutely hilarious - and true! LOL. I love the Queen intro.

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By all means wear tighter jeans next time, Mia, but I think you just have to write it off to experience, take stock when you've done ten. Good poem though, not a bit unlike Hilary's diatribe against slams, but she bounced back,
keep slamming

Dave

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Hello you.

Well, 'Let me be your cello'! That'll be a pleaser then.

I thought it was filthy. Really filthy.

In a good way.

Steve

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Thanks for your comments about 'Craig'.
He was fed Viaga in the Far East and smuggled into the UK inside a consignment of walking sticks.
His name is of course a pseudonym. Or should that be, a psssssssssseudonym?
His sister Sharon doesn't appear to drink either. Temperance snakes - whatever next.
I like what is inside your head.

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Very entertaining poetry. Refreshing. Racy. Pacy.
let's go go go for more.

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Cellos and bikes
Bikes and Cellos
When it comes down to it
We're all fiddlers

Love the imagery
it does it for me Mia

Dave

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Great. I love the poetry. Let's have some more.

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Dolce Vita! Mia,
You really do have a nice way with words...

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Mama Mia, Your chello, brings music to my ears and other parts of the anatomy. Welcome to Write out Loud matey. Gordon Z

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