how many times did we justify a scar
because we love the person
holding the knife?
how many times did we equate
a deep cut with equally deep love?
how many times did we convince ourselves that if anyone was allowed to hurt us,
it should be them?

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you were so content
keeping me at arms length
so I ended up
in someone else's
with a trail of teeth
behind me

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I'm worried that I'm losing it.
and I don't know what "it"
is, exactly.
but I can feel it leaving.

my face has been numb 
this week,
but this time,
not from weeping.

I used to write passionately
about love that leaves
and fills my space with empty,
about being comfortable 
in my lonely,
about the chaos
in longing.

but if you beg the sky
hard enough
for long enough,
she will...

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such a divine gift
lay draped around her neck.
angels pantomiming inside gemstone walls,
each shimmer of light
is a fight,
a scream,
a plea
for release.
grieving diamonds are still diamonds,
trapped in animosity.

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my eyes did give worship
to every hint of olive on his skin.
I whisper a Hail Mary
and surrender 
to the kiss of another bullet.

his armor, amatory.
mine, antiquated.
pray,
prey.

a pair of tangled beasts
never knew such beauty.
 

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it's
fearful stutters
on lips with a lisp,
gaping wide open,
autopsy of the chest.

it's wretched.
and painstakingly
beautiful.

and oh, how I love it.

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currently the new year rolls in
but had you gotten up high enough
weeks ago
you would have looked east, and
felt it, if not seen it

this cyclic existence is something to
break from,
but facing the wave
so many hear, “stay”

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Silence,

     Is the unguidable wilderness distant nature of the Mother of all Gods' bargain, Every sin confidence is a cold denial infinite bet confession labyrinth of words hoping She'll  awaken to faith gesture and play the secrecy threat of Her oft benign cross empathetic dead hand!

     Just another running card eternity drawn breath Sunday without god... gag, Her augmented li(f)e o...

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Kill off the infection,

     A belief against the invisible court of justice, Wherein love is no longer held libel as the greatest of every moment's existence value... The difference between intolerance compelled lethargic inaction versus the any second creeping essence affliction of the empathetic imagination engine must survive the spread of difference across our lives, Surmounting the conv...

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Holocaust seething,

     Speech vomited from a hate intoxicated mouth full of razor blades, Whose tongue is white nameless cross tattooed to empower the whisky bottom glass dreams to appear more than obscene, Suicide slicing empathy's once authentic imagination equality eternal engine on behalf of avarice' reincarnated intolerance heirloom of a false Buddha's multiple profit gun arms, Margina...

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Silence,

     Is the unguidable wilderness distant nature of the Mother of all Gods' bargain, Every sin confide ants is a cold denial infinite bet confession labyrinth of words hoping She'll  awaken to faith gesture and play the secrecy threat of Her oft benign cross empathetic dead hand!

     Just another running card eternity drawn breath Sunday without god... gag, Her augmented li(f)e...

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Dead plateau of life hand,

    Distant cold realms of infinite strangely star dim lit light, Compelling diction of cosmos inaudibly threat of silence curing the creeping parasite affliction of a habitual debt f(r)iendship with dignity's lost kindred hate spirit: Empathy's lost imagination engine key holding Loki demon!

In earnest anticipation of,

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