argh

the wooden pirate

with a real leg

‘pon his left shoulder

not a parrot but a peg

argh

his ship inverted

sailed ‘neath the wave

and in his treasure chest

was a craggy cave

argh

he roared with rum

empty barrels were full

his flag was white

black bones and skull

argh

the flag though ripped

caught on his hook

but not for a hand

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I swallowed an owl

I didn’t mean too

it flew in when my mouth was open

as I stood admiring a flowery garden

its feathers tickled making me cough

and scoff

                  a lot

                             panic and shout

and a little while later

then the darn thing flew out!

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mr onion with his mad mad hair

miss pepper with her smoothen skin

mrs lemon looking so so fair

master cauliflower’s complexion

the long long nose of sir carrot

the red red face of dame tomato

the velvet touch of lady apricot

the rustic charm of lord potato

father pumpkin’s autumn face

grandma asparagus’ spring fingers

mother strawberry’s summer grace

gran...

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I packed my worth on a dinner plate

and walked afar out to sea

you see

I reached an odd little island

shaped like a banana and pea

you see

I met a blue polka dot creature

with a hot pot of honey and tea

you see

I was poured a mug and we talked

such a charming and wise pigmy

you see

I realised the hour was late

better get back to home said ...

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an ostrich learning to swim in the sea

his neck like a stick floating vertically

swirling and rounding

and bobbing a wave

an invisible hand stirs a big cup of tea

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when I look at a bird

in a tree

the first thing

I notice is

its colours

are

within the lines

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bescare the Broogle stalking the stair

floiting hoiting loitering there

the Broogle the Broogle its howl of a scare

heeden oh heedon unsqueem beware

the Broogle the Broogle stalking the stair

befear the Broogle creepingly near

gooling hooling gathering here

the Broogle the Broogle emitting a fear

hissen oh hissen frooting the ear

the Broogle the Broogle creepingly n...

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o shrew in a shoe

shoo shoo

but he wouldn’t go

chew through the shoe

shoo shoo

chewed from heel to toe

nurse a poor tum

shoo shoo

he belched and was ill

greedy old shrew

shoo shoo

you’ve eaten your fill

find a new home

shoo shoo

one you can’t chew

its pair you jump to

shoo shoo

o shrew in a shoe

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begroan the ghoul who floots the floor

it sidles wodely rombles

and seen by some who vallacate

the hotel rooms it froodles

midnight is the time they say

the gallu-gallu grumbles

shrumbling in the corridors

and shrooning down the stairalls

intriguers flock from far and foyle

to witness Old Bazzam

and stay a night at their behowl

to see the ghoul then scram

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“Abe, easy Dee, effigy, eight chives, Jake, ale, Em,

any hope, peak you, arrest a ewe, feed other ewe”

                                                             ex-wife said

she certainly SPELT it out!

he then went on to reCOUNT

“When, too, furry forks, fave socks sieving, eat known tin”

and there was something oddly familiar about it all

when ex-husband and ...

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there's something intrinsically poetic about lists…

1.
bread (wholemeal)
twelve eggs
solar panels
occasional frogs
corporate lawyers
steam

2.
onions (red)
tomatoes (finely chopped)
garlic (four cloves)
fireman's ladder (aluminium)
disparity (secretly hidden)
mildness (abundant)
gluttony (almost definite)
mozzarella (abridged)

3.
clean sink
dirty sink
point un-necessar...

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the spider
he, with cotton in his bottom
for the silken manufacture
dressing flies he likes to capture
in the evening wear for dinner
oh the spider, what a spinner

the wasp
he, with a pin for a sting
and the flailing arms he causes
people run like wild horses
from their summer barbecues
oh the wasp, such afternoons

the ant
he, having friends in the thousands
how the picnic blanke...

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the ravenous witch

famished with greed

tummied and toothed

in scoops could she eat

pickles and pockles

and piggy trough trays

gorging, gullooging

and munching for days

she went picking parcels

and morsels of stuff

jiggleberries, hockleberries

but never enough

apples and hopples

pebbles and pears

the horribliest fruit

even one covered in h...

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I walked through a tunnel

like a finger rubbing around

the inside of a wine glass

round and round

fround bround vround tround

round and round

through the tunnel as a funnel

speeding up

kround zround jround pround

I walked through a tunnel

down to the darkness

down and down

bown hown rown zown

down and down

round and round

dark and stark

I walked thro...

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gulp!

ahurr ahurr ahurr

“I swallowed a cricketer”

he shouted with a cough

but, we asked, in a joking scoff

“do you not mean a cricket?”

then to our amazement

and in the very next minute

he regurgitated a bat!

which promptly flew back to its cave

and that, it seems, was that

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there is a place at at at

it is by by by

which is near near near

not too far from from from

you can get there via via via

and to be honest it is nice to stay at at at

it’s up to you really

but if you do stay at at at

you might visit visit visit

from there go to to to

then, if time, see see see

not so scenic as as as

reminded me of of of

but again it’s up...

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trifle made with custard

garden gloves and mustard

dinner listen answer me

do you want a pie and cup of tea

bake the shed ‘til ten past three

then eat it with a stormy sea

dinner can you hear me

don’t cry go home early

trifle made with custard

garden gloves and mustard

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the parrot cooked a dinner

the dinner he cooked was a carrot

when the swan burst into song

and the thrush told him to hush

the starling asked for more food

more food he asked for starving

when the owl then sang out loud

and the crow told him to go

so a meal of interruption

ruined this fine carrot luncheon

then all was quiet, nothing heard

u...

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the donkey set the table

but the table set was wonky

when the crane brought the game

and the mice brought the dice

the horses cooked the food

and the food they cooked in courses

the deer brought the beer

and the koala brought the cola

so an evening full of fun

promised fun for all the evening

then the tiger turned up later

but unfortunately...

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you know he’s a Jib

the way you can tell

he jingles and jingles

like a jingly bell

but sometimes their jingle

mysteriously goes

then Jibs cry all day

and why, nobody knows

being a Jib

can often be tough

expected to jingle

and jingle with love

then on the days

where love is not felt

Jibs lose their jingle

and Jibs will then wilt

so...

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the hapless toad

who croaked a verse

and moved the trees around him

did sway the branches

sway the leaves

at the most profound of meaning

and too did cry

the birds above

at so beautiful a stanza

and soon to history

rose the toad

recited oft' thereafter

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noop

boo troon

frooing soon

noop

too woon

drooing hoon

noop

shoo shoo

oon

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Dong was a song

that Fung the dog sung

Moke was a joke

that Poke the pig spoke

the Ked, a book that was read

is what Uncle Ned said

so Uncle Ned

his dog Fung

and his pig Poke

did Dong and did Moke

for the Ked that they wrote

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hey ho

does an octopus know

how to juggle with eight cups and saucers

and the fish watching him

while the elephants swim

then he juggles with a turtle and tortoise

then ho hey

does the octopus say

I can do this all day round in circles

but an ache in my arm

in my arm, in my arm

and so on through all eight tentacles

so hey ho

let the octopus go

...

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I went on holiday

so I thought I’d pack

I put in my head

I’d be needing that

I packed my arm

because where’s the harm

so too my toes

not forgetting my face

oh, my other arm too

went into the case

better take my legs and feet

they’re important indeed

I added my hips

and my ‘you know what’

well you never know

I might need it or not

...

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a gigglephant and giraffalaugh

in a junglement’s delight

did swing on a vine

most of the time

but today decided to fight

set to did they

but laugh did they

and tried with all their might

then merriness won over day

and they tickled until night

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Hyyre n proave

pon sheed unjoad

in hoye ‘n hoyle-howls

befuddled word, o’blite absurd

he gurgled remott’d vowels

Lesp he ‘n shyy

for ryle deride

aggrinn aggurny byy

rillig speech, from creatured-eeb

flowed his otherworldly vibe

So jue a norn

to borrishly

this being spoke in tongue

but wopeth no apology

for such unbridled shrung

It siff ! ...

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I saw an archbishop at Waterloo:

Looking for a sandwich

And spoiling for some action

With his usual cassock crew.

I suppose that this is what they do.

I once saw Lord Longford

Swapping yarns with a Tory,

But that, as they say,

Is another story.

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The splash changed the course of the universe

as the fish startled in his round of the pond.

Why are you here? asked the fish.

I fell in, cried the rat, wearing water he donned.

Why did you fall in? again from the fish.

I just fell in, just fell in, that is all.

But why, you could have fallen several ways

but you fell in here so why into this pool?

I lost my balan...

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Your hand unfurled

Revealing stars 

You'd captured while out dreaming 

They drifted skyward:

Little wisps of hope

Reaching out like ethereal streaming

I breathed them in 

As dawn brightened 

The stirring sea

And downloaded all the wonders

Of what you and I

Could, one day, grow to be.

NB.

(Ethereal Streaming is not available via Netflix)

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A laughing Parrott ate a carrot as
an Elephant climbed up a tree,
he was chased by a Mouse who wore a Pink blouse and liked to swim in the Sea,
A Lion passed by who flew his kite in the sky while singing to two dancing Llamas, 
and a juggling Giraffe was taking a bath while wearing his woolly Pyjamas! 

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A Monkey wore pink lipstick
as he laughed and baked a cake
and was followed round the kitchen by a disco dancing snake, 
they were joined by a Rhino who was wearing underpants, shuffling his bum and joining in the dance,
then there came a Chicken who was roaring like a bear as and a skateboarding Elephant with long curly hair. 

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Tongue Twisting Twaddle

This one is for Don M. who bemoans the lack of serendipity on WOL and would like to see a bit more frippery.

That Gal Gladys

Could it be we take ourselves too seriously?

Maybe our pomp possy posing needs a little pricking, A little snacker snicking?

As Twiddly Thumb said to Twiddly Toe,

“That gal Gladys wuz really weird. Wherever did she go?”

“Ye...

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Nonsense by Nina  Langias 

On a sunny day,

I met an ant,

I told her to stay,

But she said that she can't

I asked her why?

She anwsered "because" 

She made me cry

She started to applause

I went back home

To the east 

Of Rome,

At last, 

NINA AND THE BEAST.

Nonsense by Emma Lanier

Roses are red 

Violets are blue 

I ...

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The deed is done and guilt and fear come with it,​​​

what am i hoping the effect will be?

I'm not sure to be completely honest..

it's a slight tad of happiness i get from it 

but now  i'm bitter and sad 

Always something makes me immediately regret my actions

perhaps their is something i can prescribe myself to stop

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Love me, Hate me

But know that you

Saved me

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Everyone needs a

Hero

Everyone needs a

Villain

To grow, To overcome

Without them, we are

Stagnant

But not everyone becomes the

Hero

And not everyone becomes the

Villain

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There was a young man from Kyoto,
who was awfully fond of a photo,
when he saw a kimono,
his eyesight went mono,
and now a kimono’s a no-no.

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Into the Wilderness

Into the wilderness we went. Edhweirft and Hwyrflung swirled above us, blowing and bustling through the treetops. Watching. Threatening. But maintaining a safe distance as the trees protected us

Scrunch

Crack

Squelch

Scrunch

Crack 

Squelch

... we went, as the gloam drew in. Druuuuuin!! Closer. Druuuuuuuuiiiiinnnn!!!!! Closer. It hugs, this gloa...

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You were a regular toothpick

And I have my Bashment classes

We frolicked in the eye of a toad just for something to do on a Wednesday

I scraped together all my width 

And ordered it correctly

Like a spiral in a jam jar it spurred me on to justice

Make an apoplexy for your measly complexion

I lost it in a card game in the jaws of the abo-po-po

And in the heat of a ...

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There is no order here,

There is no any sense.

Can you make it clear?

Can you change a pence?

On a tin there sat a cat

It looked exactly like a rat

Poor little biggie rat

It has swallowed a cat.

Little cow wore a wig

And the ground it could dig,

Like a purple brown pig

Sat on thin and thickest twig.

In the farm and in the z...

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 In a January morning,

On a sunny April day,

A crocodile croaks as it is May.

On the pavement bricks out of board,

There walks the tallest little lord.

In a hospital is healthy.

Poor man is so wealthy.

Fed to teeth I want to eat

And a cheat is so sweet.

Come my dears! Come to me!

I don’t want to see you.

Any false you say is true,

In the yar...

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It’s a real story that happened in one school

when a teacher appeared  to be a complete fool.

Once when a teacher of math was sick

a teacher of physical education came, named Nick.

He wanted to show how intelligent he is,

so he said: Solve my problem please!

The car moves at a high speed.

To go to Spain a plane we need.

How old am I if the plane now is high...

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An endless supply of Mojitos

A wind-up radio

A wall to kick a ball against

Or a children’s pillow

A bar of soap, some sun cream,

Strings and strings of pearls

A virtual sherry trifle

Or a wide-eyed blow up girl.

Lifetime’s supply of champagne

A cup of jasmine tea

A pencil and some paper

A crate of scotch whiskey

The V&A Museum

A karaoke machin...

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