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stop throwing baseballs
for my neighbour's cat
his swing just isn't in it
and besides, I'm a little
worried for his fragility
he, being just porcelain

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Like poison ivy creeping through my brain
Strangling emotions, my words are maimed 
Shutting me down and keeping me in
Making me feel that the true me is a sin
Holding me back and won't let me out
Wanting to scream, wanting to shout
I will find a way to let the world see
I'm going to break free, I want to be me
So poison ivy your not in control 
I'll keep on fighting until my life feels w...

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I put a post of myself on again

And then think of all the critics

Those so called friends frowning in consternation at my narcissistic tendencies 

As if am putting a mirror up to their own insecurities 

That need to nuke the system sings in my synapses

Normality makes me mad

Friendship can’t be had

I am miles away from my mission but closer than most

God is not the Father, ...

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People often say that God is merciful.

Then why is it that every night, every day, every waking hour of mine, 

I keep reciting the same prayer?

‘Have mercy, my Lord, and put this subject of yours out of their misery’.

If God is so merciful, then why is it that I still find myself breathing?

Exhaling every breath, hoping this one will be my last.

Why is it that I find myself all t...

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the waves, with their

inviting rhythm

unwavering in their steady assault

offering solace in the overwash

they will beat you senseless

throw you around without a 

secound thought

like a doll

ragged, aching

the waves, with their

impregnable rhythm

neither merciful nor sudden

the pain, at least

you can expect

while the scintillating breeze

carries the...

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I was once a dancing flame but I forgot how to dance so I mimicked others until one day... pft.

I am unable to see myself burning out untill I spit, clinging to the bitter end of the wick.

At first, I am a soldier, fighting because I know the end is coming.

At the end is a void. Nothing in it and nothing can fill it. Nothing matters.

DESPERATION. Pouring everything and anything into th...

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My sides burn

Like eyes are burning into every cell of it

Between my eyebrows are tense

In an unknown anger

My stomach has ghost peppers

Riding a looping roller coaster

Through a gang of butterflies

My back has cracked so many times

That each pop adds another insecurity

Into the polluted puddle of muscle in my skull

My eyes are tired

Tired of holding the tears that...

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