Beware the grammar-nazi Brit,

whose comments tend to make you spit;

he’ll analyse your every word,

and label them as quite absurd.

He’ll witter on and on and on,

as if he was a paragon;

instead from spouting all that gas,

he’s closer to a horse’s ass.

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I’m a big fan of Harry Graham and his Ruthless Rhymes, so I’ve written a couple of my own, although he has already written the best ones. Ruthless Rhymes are jewels of black humour and awe-inspiring callousness. Mine are just a bit disturbing, and include an iffy rhyme or two, as is my wont. I hope you like them.

AUNTY PAT

Aunty Pat had a ratskin hat

Together with a ratskin glove.

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