Need to grieve,
but this makes
everyone else sad.

But I need
to let it out.
And instead
I get frustrated
and a little mad.

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When grief consumes completely, 
And tears cease only from exhaustion.
When life has stolen what you love,
And you droop like a flowers wilting deterioration.
Remind yourself, even though you cannot see it,
These wretched feelings are not your jail,
This will not forever be it.

You will again find laughter in life,
The beauty in the world, love and light.
Do not underestimate how hard t...

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When Merle died it was a sorry affair.

After hating us all her life 

she wanted to be close with us in the end. 

Lol, who had always seen the good in her

brought her back to life briefly on the last day,

which had shown how much he meant to her I suppose.

But cats are only meant to last a certain amount of time-

less than what should be a life time,

more than some marr...

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There you go again

Fighting a battle hard to win

Facing every demon 

That is stuck inside your head 

All the secrets that are kept within

Every weakness and sin

They are ever screaming

Ripping your soul to shreds

Do not listen, my friend

Find a way to wear thin

The voices forever misleading 

That you cannot move ahead

Never let them win

You can...

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Look over there,

Sat in that comfy reclining chair,

Is a man so wise and strong,

With so much knowledge which was seldom wrong.

The way his eyes would sparkle when he laughed,

And his cheesy smile on all his photographs.

His daytime nap making a little snore,

Is he really asleep? I think as I open the door.

He was such a good old joker,

Yet kept a face as straight a...

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I hate this world

Without you it has one less beautiful soul

I sit here seething 

Thinking of how good people die while others keep breathing

How can I make the world a better place

All the while trying to hide the tears on my face

I want to be part of a standing ovation

But how can I do that with no motivation

To change the world one child at a time

To give all I have, ...

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The world is dull without your sparkle,

No noise as sweet as your laughter.

Your loss has left me with no understanding, 

An emptiness I can not fill.

As I trudge through the mundane,

I impatiently wait to join you.

But as I pray for peace and acceptance, 

Your love surrounds me like a warm blanket 

And temporarily hides the cold. 

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I wear a coat of armor

A full-body suit to protect my inner self

A shield against the outside world

But, every once in a while I forget a piece

And when I do it's the most important one

So, if you see me and I'm not put together

Please be gentle and approach with care

For you see, when I do forget a piece

It's always my heart that shows.

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I see you there

Invisible, but still I stare

Ever smiling at me

Happy just to be

My mind plays tricks

As my emotions mix

Heartbroken but relentless

Chaos then calmness

Ever fighting for peace

Your memory will not cease

Until you are transformed

We will have to resist the storm

Your love gives us hope

As we walk along a tightrope

Learning to ...

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I've reached my goal weight

I think to myself

But don't ask how I did it

You don't want to know

That depression and anxiety

Is causing my body to change

That trips to the gym

Are only to get through the mundane

Don't tell me I look good

Because deep down inside

Looks don't really matter

When your life is full of pain

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I didn't tell you my feelings,

Looking for sympathy.

I know you've read stories

And have friends just like me.

So, I'll hear every word

And nod respectfully.

But, what I really needed

Is something that you can not see.

Open your mind, unguard your heart

And listen attentively.

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Like traveling through quicksand

Slow and dirty

If you stop, even if only for a moment

You start sinking

There is no letting go or going back

So, you must keep going

To trudge on no matter what

No matter how deep you sink

How filthy or tired you get

To fight on through the grit and grime

To scream and curse

And claw your way from the depths

To stumble on until y...

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As the day turns to twilight,

I sit and wonder what would be.

Would your smile be as bright?

With dark blue eyes that see.

Would you stay up late at night?

Sitting upon Daddy's knee.

Would you still let me hold you tight?

Snuggling as we watch T.V.

Would you care for sissy with all your might?

As you sing and play carefree.

Would your golden hair still shine in the li...

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When your in my dreams it's bitter sweet.
I can see your smile
Hear your voice 
Feel your touch
Taste your kiss
Smell your skin
But when my eyes open your gone again.

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I miss you the most on Friday and Saturday nights
Whether you were here with me or on the phone
When we would be settling down for the night 
Making plans for the weekend
Saying goodnight
Now all I have are horrible thoughts and images running through my head

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Everyday it gets more and more real.
When I see your name on our son's emergency contact list
When I want to message you about something dumb someone said at work so we can laugh
When I can't reach for the phone to call you
When I pass by one of our spots 
Everyday is lonely 
Everyday is miserable
Everyday I lose you all over again.

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I will crave your touch until we meet again.

All I can do now is close my eyes and hope to dream of you.

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Your face

Your voice

Your laugh

Your smell

Your dumb jokes

Your made up song lyrics

The way you always made me feel beautiful

The way you always loved me

The way you always chose me

I simply miss your everything. 

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So I hear from you all that he has died,
the man that touched so many lives.
He has not left you in your heart,
now it's time to do your part,
keep his music alive through the dark.
His shining light will never depart.
He left a legacy to show,
his wishes for those who know.
Never let your creativity die,
From the starman waiting in the sky.

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