The dejection
of disappointment.
The bitterness
from betrayal.
The misery
of mourning.
The sadness
from shattering.
The agony
of anxiety.
The dolor
from depression.
The torture
of trauma.
The heaviness
from heartache.

Backdated 1/10/19

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I loved you like I loved storms. I was fascinated by every strike of lightning and each gust of wind, the sheer power of it, the wind I mistook for passion and the ferocity I believed was simply something to pass with the movement of clouds.
Little did I know the damage caused to my being every second I caught myself standing in its wake.

I loved you far more than you deserved. I loved you a...

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I've tried to write this

Fifty times over

Each time I get closer

But somehow still miss

I miss something

In what I want you to know

I miss something

In saying I don't want to let go

If this is goodbye

Then say it now

I'll give up the fight

I'll let you walk out

And forever

I'll miss

You

I've loved you like no other

I've never held...

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A perfect match - strike anywhere.

A perfect love - what happened there?

I walked away without a care,

but turned and tripped on your last stare.

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I loved you 

From the moment I saw you

Black beanie 

Brooding 

Cigarette hanging from the side of your mouth

Dripping in hurt and cynicism

You

My imperfect reflection

We spent days in bed

Hid from the world

Made our own

You were the light in my darkness

The first to really see me

The first to truly love me

What you gave me I'd never had before

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sometimes i wonder how we got to this point

a point where you wonder whats the best

a point where you want to restart and forget

because i thought we're doing our best

giving all the love we have left

but look at us now, 

one has left and doesnt have any regrets

and the other one stood still, full of questions.

shes waiting, waiting and reassuring him that she believes.

...

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The first time I saw you, your mouth held no words.
I would take you out and watch you marvel at the birds.

Your awkward waddle would bring me smiles.
There was peace in my life holding you as we walked for miles.

The screaming, the crying, the testing,
The laughing, the hugging, the learning.

As I helped you grow, and loved every moment.
Even the ones that involved your excrement.

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Let me tell you this 

a secret lies within oneself,

many dare to dismiss.  

Alas,

Loving one who is broken, 

Creates complication 

And bliss. 

A problem to handle,

That is not ones own. 

A secret to help bury, 

Yet not to hold on ones own. 

The truth is set free,

When their true self is recognized 

By the one who had the power, 

All along on the ...

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And all at once

We revisted the site

Where the wounded lie

We examined their injuries

Doing our best to determine

If they were fatal

It requires a detached rationale

It laughs in the face of pure emotion

For life is smarter than you think

Forever your opponent

Even when pretending

To be a friend

For life brought me you

Star crossed

And ...

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