December Birthday Blues

You've created in me this

despair of lonliness..

My voice trembles,

tears fill my eyes,

I don't want u to see me..

I would'nt stand your coldness,

not again!

All the love you used to give me,

no longer there...

These feelings of crying..

can't take it,

I'm not that strong!

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I

i'll be honest,
I refuse to love you. 
my chest sits in knots 
even in this revelation
the would-be butterflies remain trampled
and God knows they fly all around him
im not sure they even had the chance
to cocoon, your slime-gripped words
of small flames devoured their bloom.
No. Yes. No, im not bitter. Im selfish. 
I'm greedy with want, a desire-is-me factory of production
I hold ...

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In the darkest times, there is always a light,

Someone who will hold you, or just sit with you,

when you are feeling doubt.

Maybe it's a person? Or maybe it's a dog? who looks at you with non-judging unconditional love,

and makes you know everything will be alright!

That makes you put  on your armour and continue to fight,

Because warriors might lose battles and even have scars,

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I saw people in love and I gagged

I congratulate myself for not throwing up

Though the realization saddened me

It signalled the beginning of an end

I was becoming tolerant to love again

What a tragedy for a heart not yet healed!

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I wish I could hate you,

But I can't.

I wish I could forget you,

But I can't.

If I have a choice between love and death,

I would have chosen death for sure.

But I can't.

Love is so stupid,

That it hurts

Making me so frustrated,

That it hurts

Amplifying the feeling of loneliness,

That it hurts

Can't even express all this in your face

It hurts.

...

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Don't fall for someone..
You will always break,
Don't fall for someone..
For yourself not to hate,
Don't fall for someone..
For your own sake

Love is beautiful if you are lucky,
But almost always it ends in misery.
Finding love and living happily is what you always see in movies,
But reality is not like the big screens.
Seeing the bright side, it's like butterflies,
But only after hea...

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When you looked me in the eyes, I wanted to feel your love

To feel the love that you said, was gone

I wanted to believe with all my heart that you would come back...

I wanted to believe that I could be enough

I wanted to believe that we could grow together but the truth is, it was all an illusion created by a stubborn heart,

Instead, I let you close and you hurt me, broke me, and ra...

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promise me, darling,

when you’ve moved out and moved on

when this endless summer

becomes a misty-edged memory,

promise that you won’t forget me.

fall into an easy love with some girl

who deserves you more than i ever could,

but promise when you look in her eyes

that sometimes you’ll see a glimmer

of me in her, and you’ll wonder

what i look like now, what i’m doing,

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Living a sad life, in a bad way.
Doing al-kinda stuff in a bad way
found love but it slipped away
waiting for the end as I sway

In beginning, it wasn't this bad at all
but my stupid decision created this down-fall
looking at a tree wondering if it's tall
so I can hang myself to end it all

falling for love was great
but falling in betrayal invites hate,
Now this agony, sorrow, and pai...

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Have you ever wondered that in our life betrayal is something that everyone has faced at times when it was least expected? Why does it happen only when we think or we expect that this can't happen to us? Or at times when things were going smoothly in our lives then out of the sudden betrayal shows its presence, like wassup my ...

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A sunflower?

I remember when you first called me that.

It caught me so off guard.

How can a sunflower bloom if it never faces the sun?

My stalk has hardly any structure.

I am useless against the trials of this life.

Bend enough, and you’ll break.

You went back to your last flower.

I don’t hold it against you, there’s history there.

I just can’t put it into word...

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in a present time somewhere,

you tell me not to sing the song of the blue folks blues
nothing could have torn me from those words. 

not even you.

you said "oh, go ahead and leave."

but i refuse.

you cut out my heart

and ran.

but threw it out anyway.

you dig your own sanctuary

and forget about me.

Because you knew i would be too tired to dig.

so i let you...

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