An old man on a moped

got lost on his way home,

and some how he found his way

into the velodrome,

no one seemed to stop him

as he went riding round,

like a chase scene from Benny Hill

without the theme tune sound

the cyclists chasing after him going round and round.

But no one wanted to overtake him at any stage

I think that was out of respect for h...

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Jessica Ennis,The Golden Goddess

An exciting story was about to unfold,

'Twas Jessica Ennis' pursuit of gold.

Her path to glory began when she was ten,

Taking her to the Olympic final within the peel of Big Ben.

Brought up in a terraced in the city of steel,

Worked as a waitress ,might have served you a meal.

A humble dog lover with a personality that glo...

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When Wally won the wellie wangin’ contest

It’s true that a few eyebrows had been raised

Cos Wally, he was never very sporty

His athletic prowess it was never praised.

And Mrs Simms, her that worked in the chemist

Was suspicious when old Wally had paid up

For twenty bottles of that there lovely Tixxylix

And Benyline, Cornovia and Vapour Rub.

Cos ...

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(with great deference to the Bard of Brisbane, Kevin Bllody Wilson)

Whinge, whinge, fucking whinge.  Whinge and fucking bleat.

“Take Your Marks, you cynics, for the next Olympic heat.

You’ll not need to train for years in order to compete,

So On Your Marks, you cynics, for the Freestyle Whinge and Bleat.

I hate the fucking guts of the fucking Corporates

Who p...

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They won their medals in fantastic style,

Strained every muscle,going that extra mile.

Helen Glover and Heather Stanning, these are their names,

The women's rowing pair,G.B's first gold of the Games.

They were "oar" the moon as their triumph did unfold,

The first British women's rowing pair ever to strike gold.

An army captain and a P.E. teacher letting no-one pass,

...

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Who brings the flame to signify

That peace now lights this land

On whose sure grip may we rely

Which body lends this hand

Upon whose face the gentle glow

To light the way for all

A worthy grasp of all that comes

With populace in thrall

The backers, hip to all things good

Whose strength may awe the meek

Are striding through our neighbourh...

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I am British and I'm saying it out loud.

Once more, I’m British, and oddly I’m quite proud.

The dumpy dignity of her Majesty the Queen,

The shared anxiety seeing Zoe lift it clean.

Can our Manxman Cav be the first to cross the line.

And what colour will Becs’s swimming medal shine?

The lovely Lizzie lifted my spirits to the sky,

with tears of gladness when we both be...

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“The floor is now free for Sylvia of Estonia.”

A wisp of coloured tinsel caught

on the upbeat of a gaudy circus air,

she occupies every part of her allotted space.

So focused, now, that she seems to move far

beyond the confines of this local sports centre

- a sylvan leap across the intervening years –

to where all eyes are fixed on an Olympic ...

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The Queen's helicopter parachute jump

I wonder what the rest of the world will think,

How far will their opinion of our Olympic ceremony sink.

So much going on hard to pick up on the screen,

A jumble of ideas,a thousand stories,transmitting what has been.

Personally,most of the time I was rigidly bored,

Like watching a football match when no-one has scored.

The...

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12 OLYMPUS MOUNT

Summer side

Chiltern edge

sleepy suburb

privet hedge

trampoline

garden track

hanging basket

judo mat

new Greco-

Roman porch

five ring doorbell

lobby horse

loft paddock

downstairs pool

en suite yngling

good local fencing schools

bed springboard

vaultage space

planning ...

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We waited hours for the torch to pass;

Helicopters hovered,

BMW bikes rolled platoons of police (all high fiving)

Past our aching feet

And flagging flags.

Spirits slowly sank,

Euphoria evaporating under the scouring sun.

Then the Murmur approached.

Life returned to our lifeless limbs

As acrobats cartwheeled along the white-lined tarmac;

A who...

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Us Nolimpics

We wuz  avin a  Nolmpics

Me bruvver Burt an’ me

Cos mum ad gorra strop on

An we cudden wotch no TV.

Well ah didden mean no arm

She didden need ter get so shirty

Ah only put our Rex in t’washer

Cos ee got hissen so dirty.

An, anyow, Burt didn’t mean ter

Break the green’ouse glass

But ees not reet good at football

An ee miss...

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Thump  thump

Thudda thump

Thump 'On your marks'

Thudda thudda  thudda

Thudda thump  thump thump

Breathe thudda thu...  'Get set'

Twitch, thudda, thudda, thudda

Tense, breathe, thudda, thud, thud,

Tense, br...  'Crack! ' thudda

One: Go! Go! Go! Stride!

Two: Go! Push! Thudda thud thud thud

Three: Go! Stride! Push thudda

Four: Stride burn strid...

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In the subway they’re cleaning the graffiti;

new mural with torch / jubilee theme.

Railway bridges receive fresh coats of paint.

Down-at-heel England attempting to gleam.  

The schoolkids have made willow sculptures

of cyclists leading the way. At the park

where teenagers drink wine all night,

the beer tent is open all day.

The Olympics are coming to ...

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Strict routine

Self discipline

Early riser

Body pusher

Diet freak

Weight watcher

Aching muscles

Mental block

Physical wreck

Constantly clockwatching

Feeling isolated

Friends few

Sleepless nightmares

Willpower rocks

Nerves jagged

Tracksuit off

Heavy breathing

Shaking legs

Soaking sweat

Winning line

Record breaker

...

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The fastest

the highest

the furthest

the best

fail in the end

to leave their mark

on the memory

history’s greatest wall of fame

left in their tracks

by the cheated,

the cheating

the last of their kind

or the ones quite clearly

out of their mind…

Eddie the eagle

propelling Britain to shame

plummeting to fame

quirky English...

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The Olympic Torch - so I am told - won't be coming my way

No chance of a fine white tracksuit:  perhaps another day?

I play at how it might have been - with my own Olympic flame -

But  a cigarette lighter waved aloft  just doesn't seem the same!

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Thousands line the streets

just to glimpse the torch

waving their green ribbons

donated by BP

The Official Oil and Gas Partner for London 2012.

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