Because I can no longer kiss you

no longer feel your skin

beneath my fingers

or hear you in the night

Because I can no longer call you

no longer sound your name

beneath my breath

or hear you whisper soft

Because I could not stop time passing

could not return time's sand

beneath its glass

or heal the wounds of time

Because I could not hold you here

could yet y...

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I wished you did not miss me because the though of that hurts to the core
I wished i did not ever have to feel the pain,
of you not missing me even more. 
I think back to our times at home
 your first memories of being so small in my arms
The hours i spent watching you dream 
Wishing and hoping i could be the best mother i could be 
for you to get the best life you deserve from me.
Thought...

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Clock out, start my car and check my phone.
I look down, see a text "Hey, you doing okay bro?"
Confused and realizing I missed about 12 calls.
Didn't know what was going on, nothing was clear,
*Incoming call from 'enter name here'*.
I answered "Hey what's up?" and then I heard the tears.
"What's going on? What did I miss? Are you alright?"
'You didn't hear? She was driving and passed away l...

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I only try to write of joy

But you only read my sorrow

She came to me by chance

I suppose that's always so

We sang the bodies' lively dance

She rescued me from woe

She came to me in passion

I only knew my lonely life

We dreamt our bodies' ration

She rescued me from strife

The tear you see escape my eye

Remembers only pleasure

The gasp of breath yo...

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Above The Light Of The Morning Star

Pity the dark eyed man who chases sleep.

Yet, pity more, the man who finds that realm

and dances with his friends, long gone,

then wakes to find such loneliness in his heart.

A father’s hand laid gently on his shoulder

or a mothers kiss to say farewell on leaving.

These are the magic lanterns

of the ghosts that are their ghosts.

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I have always been a whole person

Please don’t let what I now describe convince you otherwise 

But I left the other part of me in foreign country 

Endearment 

I love the way he says my name 

With words and phrases I have heard before 

But those that have not enlightened me until now 

I can breathe around him, more than mere survival 

I met him in a world where sum...

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Walking down this endless road,

Never knowing which way to go.

Each path seems dark,

each breath

harder than the last,

constantly hiding from the past.

I try to find the strength to move on,

But each time I do, you still want to have

your fun. When will it sink in?

You will never win.

I’m done playing,

You might think you’re staying.

Truth is you’re as temp...

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Watching, listening, waiting

An endless unmoving time

Pain thriving within her

Her heart is far from fine.

Feeling, hurting, crying

An endless stabbing pain

Giving up on trying

Her heart so full of strain.

Retching, whimpering, head swirling

An endless wrath of terror

Her fingers clasping, curling

Her heart forever slain.

Calming, numbing, unfeeli...

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Get up and Gone

I remember when my uncle, with watery eyes,

Told me how his get up and go

Had got up and gone.

We were looking at the framed photo of his wife,

40 years together, and now only one.

His shoulders shook, a man once so strong,

Used to laughter, drinks and quick with a quip or joke.

And I remember when I too lost sight of the sun,

My vision blurred,...

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A Wound That Never Heals

It hurts me

when a you shaped hole

appears in the cosmos,

where there is

an absence of colour,

where the sound

scrapes along,

where the light

is masked by

dense grey mist.

That’s where

I miss you

the most.

When it rains

a greasy rain,

when the cracked bell

clangs,

when the planets

are misaligned.

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I’m losing my mind.

Don’t you understand?

I’m desperately reaching out for your hand.

Don’t leave me hanging, slipping, falling…

down into the endless abyss of darkness,

Never destined to land.

You’ve saved me once before,

But this time there are no safety ropes.

I’m free-falling, plummeting, going down…

My only hope Is for you to save me now.

I’m losing my ...

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She is long gone

So long I have to strain to hear her voice

Down the years

The last thing she said to me though 

Clear as day

Like the sun through mists of dawn 

‘Oh Janey’

An unexpected heartfelt sigh

Two words could not contain more depth

For she was lost to me long before

She left this earth

Or so I thought

Until the parting of the clouds

So brief

To gi...

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I found a picture of you in my arms,

Sleeping securely, safe from harm,

As you knew it, anyway.

Your trust for me was complete,

You wanted for nothing

And thought of my love only

As often as a bird thinks of sky.

You didn’t yet know people

Can go away or even die.

I know how things changed,

But I can’t bear to think of it.

I picture you now, with your love

...

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I finally figured it out
How to get up there pre-death.
I crawled my way up to you
Without leaving my own bed.

I tried to break you out
But they wouldn't let you leave.
I tried to break you out 
To bring you home with me.

I got kicked out of heaven
No they won't let me back.
They said if I ever tried again
To prepare myself for attack.

I'll go back everyday 
If I had the slighte...

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I see it everywhere,

being laughed about, tormented

“Ha! Triggered!”

If only it could be prevented.

This generation needs to grow up

stop being so damn sensitive

a bunch of babies who can’t cope

well how about you stop being so damn negative?

“Kill yourself!”

Ha, wait, is that a trigger?

Not yet, but it will be

when you realize you’re the killer

...

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Back To The Park

It’s mid July,

a summer’s day.

School is just

a memory away.

We lay on grass

and watch the sky

and count the clouds

as they pass by.

We talk of bands

we’d like to see -

Led Zeppelin, Quo,

Sabbath and Free.

Insects buzz,

a distant bark,

children playing

In the park.

You turn to me

and kiss my lips

and move in close,

h...

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As the rains came we followed

As the rains fell we listened

And walked towards the minister,

Passing by the dark grave wherein she lies,

To drop another daffodil, a final kiss from life,

On the pale box below.

And on, to cluster round beneath the trees

Circling the family, rooted by some strange harmony

Of communion: a drifting mass lost in loss.

On the hillside, as the ...

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Elbow Yard

In Elbow Yard the walls are thin

between this world and the next.

We communicate through clairvoyants

because we couldn’t  handle text.

But that’s all right mate,

that’s pretty cool,

you didn’t like clowns

and I’m the fool.

In Elbow Yard the darkness reigns

and death dances out of sight

ready to drag us to his ballroom,

illuminated in pale g...

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Warhawk and Nate
The Warhawks took off and flew upwards
Like angry hornets looking for trouble
Covering the frail old biplane
A flying camera with brave crew
Tasked to look for enemy locations
Flying here and there warlanes they were
American flown Curtiss fighters
Guarding the Filipino crewed Stearman
On a mission of war in the second global war
The Japs were ready and scrambled planes
...

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Sacred Path

we walked the ancient path together

where ancestors had worn the land

into a waypoint to the barrow

carefully observing rituals and customs

under azure skies we stumbled on our way

across this land of Albion

the hops the wheat the barley

bowing heads in solemn recognition

of the passing of souls

as we walked we talked of many things

...

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When it was discovered, we recoiled

Out of doubt, out of fear

We focused on the opinions of others

Instead of what we thought

When I let our secret fly free,

I was shown acceptance and love

Hope blossomed like a cactus flower

It would be okay. 

He was capricious, of two minds

One day yes, the next was no,

He produced a name, but renounced his love

I proce...

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O, where roams your delicate soul

Does it yet travel the seas

                gliding afar with the Arctic tern

                or is its delight in quieter waters

                in dappled river pools or streams

Is it content to rest in the cool damp shade of the willow

watching minnows play

                diving among the nymphs

                and sacred lotus

...

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Above

If I handed you,

one hundred balloons,

you would drop each one,

and float to the moons.

If I blew some bubbles

and watched as they float

you’d soar far above

and here I quote,

“If all the world,

was spinning round,

like a red balloon,

way up in the clouds,

you’d anchor me,

back down”

Well we went and we were,

two ball...

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This piece dates from a time when, to put it mildly, I was adrift on a stormy ocean.

Test Firing

I woke from a dream of Huntsmen

cracking with the sound of crashing trees

and found

old men

grinning

as they sledge-hammered

the walls of my room.

They said it was to certify

my apostacy

but when they left

the walls still stood,

dividing my loss

from ...

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