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Humour (Remove filter)

Falling Down The Cracks In The Pavement

Falling Down The Cracks In The Pavement

 

I’ve given up the cakes

and all the biscuits too,
I’ve given up the beer

(and I really liked a brew).

I’ve given up the crisps,

I’ve given up the Coke,

I’m really trying hard to be

a really slimmer bloke.

 

The curries have gone with the wind,

the Mexican’s waved goodbye,

the Chinese are prawn crackered

and I’ve said...

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diethumournew jeanssugar freetarget reached

GSOH

I would not say this heart is hungry
I dare not say this heart is heavy
I only know now, a surer sense of all I want
a clearer description of what will fire
the drive, the rush, the love in me

If we're not going out tonight
then can we just sit and giggle
at each other, at the TV, at the others
can she laugh with me, make fun of me
until we have tears in our eyes, can’t breathe

When ...

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humourjokeslaughterlifelovegsohhumor

It’s All Kicked Off.......

it’s all kicked off down at the zoo
absolute chaos, a proper to-do
when it all started, it was really quite small
when a boy in a pushchair just squeezed a ball
he didn’t mean to do it, it’s just it was there
all round and pink and covered in hair
they bobbed past him at just the right height
so he grabbed a handful and held them quite tight
he wiggled his fingers and gave them a tweak
th...

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humour

The Circle of Life

I know we didn’t click when we first met
I wasn’t just playing hard to get 
previous partnerships were hard to ignore
false dawns I’d visited many times before
at first my pulse rate you didn’t raise
until I felt your tight embrace
sending both of my knees  all weak
from your light touch across my cheeks
we’ve had good times, we’ve had bad
experienced both happiness and sad
victories tha...

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humour

Still 23

Still 23

I’m 46 next week, but I’m 23 inside,
It’s not just old age denied.
I know my body’s knackered
‘cos daily I’m reminded:
the mirror’s getting scary,
I’m sure my face is puffy.

I used to feel so fit and strong,
stand up in the pub and sing a song,
Give me a coffee, I don’t want a pint,
I’ve no time for fools or picking a fight.

I think I’m pretty cool,
my daughter’s face sa...

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humourpoetryAgeinggetting old

Black Betty by Huddie Ledbetter read by David Williams in the style of Sir John Betjeman

A little fun and whimsical nonsense! Anybody remember Peter Sellers reading 'Balham Gateway to the South?'

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whimsycomedysketchhumour

The Giant by Eloi Chaptal

THE GIANT

By Eloi Chaptal

Mom, mom!

A giant tried to eat me,

He said he was very hungry.

He was as big as a bear

It’s true, I swear!

He had a forest in his nose,

And it was really gross.

Now he is looking at some random paper

But not for long, we are still in danger!

Quick, quick, while we still can,

Let’s run outside and take the van!

“What?” said mom, “Are ...

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