Taking to the ocean
distance put between
my flippant will
and things to conquer
heart beasts
tugging at my sleeve

Turning, turning, turning
from that incessant chasing
the bay recedes, city lights 
swallowed by the horizon
heart beasts
circling overhead

Test me, am I strong enough?
I try not to be broken
daily trials so choking
can I survive them?

At night, rocking in the wav...

Read and leave comments (4)

My bed is still warm

When the next body rolls in

But I'm not

I'm numb

Until,

Your body

- Or his -

- Or hers -

Envelopes mine

And I can breathe

Because

I am consumed

I am part of you,

Of someone that lives

That moves

That loves

I am

I was

I will be

Because I'm not apart

Just a part

Of something

Read and leave comments (4)

A huge pleasure of mine is to shop,

Though I sometimes find it hard to stop.

It brings me comfort so I cannot wait,

But it may put me into such a state.

I especially love to shop online,

To see what things could soon be mine.

There are many choices. It is so vast,

And they like to take our money fast.

Whether it be a DVD, a game or book

At my bank balance I dar...

Read and leave comments (0)

He fools everyone
and I fool myself
in my secret life.
 
Makeup hides the bruises
in my secret life.

Distractions abound  
in my secret life.

I smile, laugh, cry, drink 
the pain away
in my secret life.

Food fills the gaps of despair
in my secret life.

I pray for salvation
in my secret life.

Hope for a better tommorow remains 
in my secret life. 

# # #

https://youtu...

Read and leave comments (1)

Poetry is my 
drug of choice,

calming rain, 
rays of sunshine. 

an antidote 
to suffering,

waltzing words
on lonely nights,

my lost lover 
whispering
in my ear,

release, 
of fear,

wind beneath
birds in flight,

illuminating 
light,

immortality...

Read and leave comments (13)

there's no one here but me, bottles all around, the music's faded it's a melancholy sound

party streamers on the floor, the room drenched in drugs and sadness

it's hazy and in reality, you aren't glad this...

EVER happened

at first, it all seemed fun and you were happy at the time

now they're disappointed, now you want more, now you're back down the mountain you took so long to clim...

Read and leave comments (0)

Porcelain doll, why are you frowning?

She said, "I am you", "Look at my damage, all the drugs you're downing"

Cracked and peeling, there's no reverse.

She started crying, "Are you going to stop now or make it worse?"

Porcelain doll, how do I stop?

She said, "That's on you."

I take another pill and I hear a pop.

Piece after piece falls on the floor.

She cries out as it hurts...

Read and leave comments (0)

Deleted the dealer. Threw put the pills.

Used the rest of my money for unpaid bills.

Cut off the friends. Got myself clean.

Mentally ready but physically a fiend.

Going to meetings. Trying to talk.

The constant urge to do dope I have to block 

I don't really care, but at the same time, I do.

Hopefully, at some point, the right answer will breakthrough. 

Read and leave comments (0)

The words you speak you don't mean to slur, you think you know what you're saying but it's all a blur. Missing the way things used to be, but crying at the cost of living; it's no longer free. Wanting more 'n more but you have to quit. Sadly it's your only coping skill to make you forget. You drink and you drink but now you're just sick, after four years you'd think that'd it'd click. Never does t...

Read and leave comments (0)

How can you adore me one day

and forget I exist the next? 

Was I just another notch 

in your belt? 

Why can’t you see that your world is 

darker without me,

the one who loves you 

unconditionally. 

Someday it will all make sense.

Meanwhile, I’ll keep convincing myself

you still care.

###

https://youtu.be/kjkc7A5XoWk

Read and leave comments (3)

I'm dedicated. Not addicted. I'm in control. It's my desicion. I say what And I say where. And if you ask jus rig;;

Read and leave comments (0)

pull out thre trigger u know how it go 

call up lil leek cuz he still got that 4

when I'm down bad I do not got nopbody

release all my problems when I drink this bottle 

still fucking hoes man I just fucked this model 

nobody know about all of my problems 

call up tequila u know she gon solve it 

I wanna stop drinking but I got nobody 

I try to reach out but they always dec...

Read and leave comments (0)

"boop boop beep beep boop bup bip beep" go the alerts and synaptic responses

too fast to process, too repetitive to want to

"spit that out, it's toxic" I warned

as he slurped up drama in great mouthfulls, as if she were kool-aid

he would slice open a vein and welcome drama directly if she asked him to

surreptitious texting continues beneath the table

eyes downcast, thumbs flying ...

Read and leave comments (5)

A day without E is better off Breathless,

May my soul escape if my stream is empty.

Seek and find the girl named E,

packed with love she doesn't discriminate,

Her race is spectrum body tailored to your preference.

Undergo E she'll turn the toughest man empathetic.

Open your eyes wide as the sky,

Her love brings out a high unreal,

to experience one must be willing ...

Read and leave comments (2)

A desire stronger than the weight of the world, nothing in life matters more than the intake of poison, fogged mind and clouded vision,

Tell Me What's Love Compared To Addiction

controlled by controlled substance your own worst enemy living physically but empty mentally,

Happiness Depleted Unless Using Of Course My Best Friend Is My Drug Of Choice

scared of facing withdrawals to much p...

Read and leave comments (3)

Forgive me, for not 
being the mother 
you needed me to be.

For being too busy,
too naive to see 
what was happening 
in front of me.

For being silent
when your father 
screamed and demeaned.

For when I thought it
was sweet that your 
boyfriend carried you
to your room when you 
"fell asleep".

For not enough hugs
and too many lectures.

For not seeing the signs
of addict...

Read and leave comments (8)

You were always object lesson,
Never role model, and I only knew
I should never be like you.
Your death was early and tragic,
As expected, your last conscious
Moments spent reaching for the door
Of a home engulfed in flame.

Through tear-filled eyes,
Those who had nothing but
Criticism for you when alive
Expressed their own shock and
Grief with a final tinge of judgment.
“If it had an...

Read and leave comments (0)

I wanted to do a poem today to provoke a thought or thinking about the insanity of taking drugs. I have known many people succumb to Heroin and painkillers, alcohol and it all seems so futile I myself suffered with addiction through mental illness. Its a terrible thing and very dark. So here is my attempt at describing this disease.

Bereft of feeling

Stare into the abyss
eyes burning...

Read and leave comments (0)

Immediately after I
Fetched my salary
From a Bank
When I get drunk
Getting into a bar,
From my home not far,
No longer subject
To my inhibition
I become bold
To make an
Open breast of my love
To my inaccessible dove,
For on such state
I become easily capable
My financial challenges
And physical appearance
Anxieties to dissolve.

I crunch her number
Getting no answer
"U R Z best...

Read and leave comments (0)

How do you help
loved ones that
insist on 
tap dancing
with the demon 
of addiction?

I want to scold
them like a child
for their own good,

but I know it 
would fall
on deaf ears.

I want to hold them
tight, tell them
everything will
be alright, but
they aren't buying 
that lie.

Is my only option
to waltz around 
my candy-coated world 
and watch them
self-destruct?

I...

Read and leave comments (5)

I'm losing my mind,
I'm flipping the script,
On this sobriety shit,
I can't get a grip,
The truth hurts,
But it sets us free,
Its holding me back,
I just wanna scream,
The tracks that I have,
And the scars on my arms,
Are all just reminders,
Of the people that I've harmed,
So I open my eyes,
To the things that make me blind,
That's why I keep trying,
One day at a time.

Read and leave comments (0)

The darkness falls under my skin,
I hate my life and my soul within',
I'm trapped in my mind and I'm full of sin,
I'm fighting the devil and I cannot win,
Complacent thoughts are spinning around,
I hear His voice but there is no sound,
He showed me the way, the truth and the life,
The battle is won, I won the fight,
Come on devil your talk is cheap,
I've played my cards so read 'em and we...

Read and leave comments (0)

Your words flow 
though my veins 
and light up my soul 
like nothing 
I've ever known.
Chemical alchemy.
Cosmic destiny.
Beyond comprehension.
From another dimension.
Steam. My dopamine. 
 

Read and leave comments (2)

You almost had me,

But you didn't win,

There's something I need to say,

So let me begin,

You made me feel worthless,

But you took the pain away,

You kept me on a leash,

I needed you night and day,

I didn't know darkness,

Until I met you,

You took my breath away,

And my face turned blue,

Falling, falling and falling,

And it seems like forever,

Then fire tur...

Read and leave comments (0)

Black tar and needle scars,

I pull it back and let it rip,

It's time to trip I take a hit,

My heart skips I'm loving it,

Twisted things and smoking everything,

Angelic wings flying high like a king,

Powdered wishes and doing fat ishes,

Taking in poison is rather delicious,

This dark liquid death has me out of breath,

Not a worry in the world not even HEP,

I crush it u...

Read and leave comments (0)

There you are beaming 
at everyone you meet
posting highlights,
keeping it together. 

But, I see your soul scars...
loneliness, heartbreak,
disappointment, addiction,
depression, despair...

It's enough to turn
most souls to dust.

But not us.

Diamonds are made from 
coal under pressure.

Show your scars,
keep the faith,
and shine on.

Read and leave comments (2)

Those few seconds before the new year

when the countdown begins,

my soul soars with so much hope and joy.

When the ball drops at Times Square,

there is a momentary

return to innocence.

As the confetti flies and music fills the air,

I imagine we are a world at peace...

no worries, no violence, no division,

just a few beautiful seconds of clarity and simplicity

that dis...

Read and leave comments (0)