Pandora’s Box

barbeques and beaches

your own little playground

complaining about others

who sit in your space

incandescent

that schools are reopening

while little Johnny plays

with his mates in the park

lighting a fire

to cremate your pork chops

on the grass and heathlands

where sparks are bullets

leaving B&Q

with a six foot mirror

t...

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Mother’s Ruin

My mum would not touch alcohol

She never told us why

But she made rhubarb wine a lot

And also rhubarb pie

Sat in the Rhubarb Triangle

You didn’t have to try

To cultivate or care for it

It grew wild quite nearby

She got a secret recipe

To make a potent wine

She picked the fruit and followed it

Everything looked fine

Twenty-one bottles l...

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Stay up until all hours with work stuff,

Then wonder why the kids act at their worst,

Insist they play alone when you feel rough,

Then wonder which will throw a tantrum first.

You promise something then you make them wait,

Then wonder why they give you endless grief,

Sling insults when the school run’s running late,

Then wonder why they’re lacking self-belief.

Rec...

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Recipe For Disaster

Make sure you’ve got a big bowl.

OK, we’re ready to commence.

Take a pinch of honesty,

add an ounce of common sense,

stir in bloody mindedness,

gently fold in care,

season it with integrity

(if you’ve got any spare),

sprinkle it with passion,

avoid the nuts and flakes,

put it in a hot oven

and see how long it takes

for it to become bu...

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